Earth Angels ~ Adonis continued

Everyone Crosses Paths for a Reason ~

In  November 2010, I started going back in time pre-accident, and left you wondering who Adonis was ~ you can read the first part of Earth Angels ~ everyone crosses paths for a reason HERE.

During my time in the hospital post-accident, Adonis could not have been more wonderful. He stayed by my side as I worked my way from CCU to ICU to hospital ward and eventually to rehabilitation hospital. Each accomplishment meant I was one step closer to going home.

When the day finally came that the doctors agreed I was strong enough to continue my rehabilitation at home, I was beyond excited! I was going home… yes there would be someone there 24/7 with me, but I would get to sleep in my own bed, surround by my things.

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Walking (more like hobbling with a cane to steady my step) up the walkway to my home, a feeling of loss came over me. At the time I did not understand it. As we went inside I looked around. Everything seemed to be exactly as I recalled it. Even my tea cup and saucer sat on the side table, just as I had left it that day (thankfully I had drank all the tea, or perhaps it had evaporated, as it was empty); on the coffee table lay the October issue of InStyle magazine; the health coverage forms, I had intended on filling out and submitting that week-end remained scattered on my writing desk. Suddenly I was overcome with fatigue, the caregiver must have noticed, she quickly came over and assisted my sister with getting me out of my coat and slippers (yes, slippers ~ though it was winter – thankfully the snow had been very little that year~ I had no flat boots, let alone closed flat shoes).

Upstairs in my bedroom I again felt that feeling of loss. The duvet that I had once snuggled cozy beneath had to be removed, its weight felt like a blanket of bricks on my fragile frame ~ I think I was weighing 95-98 lbs. at the time (almost 15 lbs less than I did that fatal Saturday. On a 5’2” body frame that much loss looks and feels more like 25lbs).

That first night I hadn’t noticed that Adonis had not come by nor called (I would later learn that he had kept updated on my recovery through friends). The next few weeks would be consumed with in-home rehab, distraction by well wishing friends and lots and lots of sleep, But no Adonis.

Then out of the blue he was coming by to take me out for lunch. I had not been out of pajamas for some time. The caregiver lovingly and patiently helped me find clothes that added a little weight to my silhouette. She carefully pulled my hair back to conceal the bald spots that covered the back of my head. When Adonis arrived ~ I was dressed and ready to go. I thought I looked pretty good ~ I would later learn that my neighbor thought an elderly woman was staying at my house and was being helped by Adonis.


Through lunch I tried my best to not show the limitation in my right arm (at this point it was fused in a hand shake position), but I recall not doing a great job of bring food to my mouth with left hand. When we finished, it was as if no food had actually been consumed. Adonis returned me home and that would be the last I would see of him, though he did call from time to time to see if I needed anything.

I must say, though Adonis and I never spoke about why he drifted away … I knew that I was no longer “that girl”- whom he had been so taken back, by her confidence, energy, stunning smile, fit and full of life. In her place now stood (actually more often sitting), an unsure of herself and life, fragile being.

Looking back now, I know that he is an Earth Angel, who was giving me the strength I needed to make it back. For this I have always been and continue to be grateful that he chose me to help. Not once, and I can honestly say this, did I feel disappointed or angry that he drifted from my life. Perhaps on some level I knew he had been a gift from above.

I recently had the opportunity to have lunch with Adonis (3 years later) and …. well I think I will save the lunch story for another time.

Earth Angels ~ Everyone Crosses Paths for a Reason ~

Today, I sat and pondered about my life pre-accident. It may not have been perfect, but for me it was pretty much as close as one could hope for. I was top of my game in career; I worked hard and sometimes played harder. No matter how chaotic life became, I always embraced a few moments just for me. Be it after a long day at work, listening to some soft music before crawling into bed or on the odd early evening after work soaking in a glorious bubble bath filled tub (candle light and soft music too).

I enjoyed travelling alone or with friends, being at an airport knowing that I would be on a plane going somewhere, took my breath away and filled my adventurous side. Maybe it was left over excitement/energy from my years working with an Aerospace company. Whatever it was it felt amazing. The summer before my detour in life, I had spent a wonderful time on the Islands of Portugal with friends. It was glorious, perhaps if I had known life was about to end as I knew it, in 2 short months, I would have played a little more.

No matter how busy my schedule became, I was never too busy to give back. One of the ways I gave back was as Chair of Fundraising for a local Homeless Youth Shelter. Just over a month prior to my own detour in life, we hosted our first Fundraising Gala for the shelter. With a modest budget and lots of goodwill from some very generous supporters, the event was a success. That evening I would meet someone whom I had no idea how much they would impact my life in the short weeks to come.

I still recall the feeling that came over me, as I read his words in his first email to me. My career was my focus and there could be no distractions – I had managed to create an Ice-Queen heart (yes, it was solid rock ice). Somehow between, emails, phone chats, I felt Global Warming taking hold. How could this be, we had not even managed to coordinate a time to get together – our schedules were conflicting. Finally, the day came and after some misunderstanding about his car – He thought I would be embarrassed/uncomfortable to go in his car. I thought he was showing up in a jalopy. In the end as we walked towards his very stylish sports car, I think he was thinking I was impressed and had not been in such sporty wheels. Little did he know that a similar sporty car and my association with anyone who owned was that they were a Player ~ been there done that, that’s what created the Ice-Queen heart… I was safe … Global Warming retracting at very high speeds. Through brunch I recall both probably wanting to be elsewhere. The “date/social outing” came to an end and afterwards I felt like so much had been left unspoken.

With our busy schedules we still kept in touch and went out a few times. Perhaps, he was a Player who knew how to activate the Global Warming … for he was doing a good job, being just busy enough to create a challenge, but available enough for me to wonder and not walk away. So here the Universe was tempting me, dangling this Adonis in front of me, his only flaw, ok maybe two flaws ~ like me he hid behind his career to avoid getting close to someone and possibly hurt again and thus he tested me by working too much.

I still recall what could have been our last conversation ever; me not being very understanding and him probably realizing I had reached my limit. A day later I would set off for dinner at my friends solo. I would not make it to the dinner and no one would know whether I would come out of a coma until 6 weeks later. When I was finally able to communicate via a spelling board, I would first have my sister make sure that the turkeys were being prepared for the Homeless Youth Shelter... by sending my sister to calling someone she had no idea why she was calling except … Turkey & call (this I don’t have much memory of) and at some point having her call a stranger who she was confused I was “dating” … I didn’t date.

You guessed it Adonis … interestingly he had been trying to get through to someone via my Blackberry number , but when he finally got through … and after being grilled as to who he was … him responding that we had just started a relationship … the person saying they had never heard of him and that I was basically dead, hung up. Finally, when my sister got through and put him on the visitors list, he came immediately. He would visit and sit by side when his schedule permitted and each visit it felt like he was literally breathing life back into me. Willing me to not give up, keep fighting. I recall during one visit, as he leaned in to kiss me bye, hearing a voice say “don’t be afraid, he will always be here for you”. It was those words and his visits that I believe in my heart of hearts, why I did not give up. I strongly feel that had Adonis not been in my heart, I would not have chosen to come back from that glorious place “Home”.

I'm sure you are wondering who Adonis is and is he still in my life ...till next time.