I enjoyed travelling alone or with friends, being at an airport knowing that I would be on a plane going somewhere, took my breath away and filled my adventurous side. Maybe it was left over excitement/energy from my years working with an Aerospace company. Whatever it was it felt amazing. The summer before my detour in life, I had spent a wonderful time on the Islands of Portugal with friends. It was glorious, perhaps if I had known life was about to end as I knew it, in 2 short months, I would have played a little more.
No matter how busy my schedule became, I was never too busy to give back. One of the ways I gave back was as Chair of Fundraising for a local Homeless Youth Shelter. Just over a month prior to my own detour in life, we hosted our first Fundraising Gala for the shelter. With a modest budget and lots of goodwill from some very generous supporters, the event was a success. That evening I would meet someone whom I had no idea how much they would impact my life in the short weeks to come.
I still recall the feeling that came over me, as I read his words in his first email to me. My career was my focus and there could be no distractions – I had managed to create an Ice-Queen heart (yes, it was solid rock ice). Somehow between, emails, phone chats, I felt Global Warming taking hold. How could this be, we had not even managed to coordinate a time to get together – our schedules were conflicting. Finally, the day came and after some misunderstanding about his car – He thought I would be embarrassed/uncomfortable to go in his car. I thought he was showing up in a jalopy. In the end as we walked towards his very stylish sports car, I think he was thinking I was impressed and had not been in such sporty wheels. Little did he know that a similar sporty car and my association with anyone who owned was that they were a Player ~ been there done that, that’s what created the Ice-Queen heart… I was safe … Global Warming retracting at very high speeds. Through brunch I recall both probably wanting to be elsewhere. The “date/social outing” came to an end and afterwards I felt like so much had been left unspoken.
You guessed it Adonis … interestingly he had been trying to get through to someone via my Blackberry number , but when he finally got through … and after being grilled as to who he was … him responding that we had just started a relationship … the person saying they had never heard of him and that I was basically dead, hung up. Finally, when my sister got through and put him on the visitors list, he came immediately. He would visit and sit by side when his schedule permitted and each visit it felt like he was literally breathing life back into me. Willing me to not give up, keep fighting. I recall during one visit, as he leaned in to kiss me bye, hearing a voice say “don’t be afraid, he will always be here for you”. It was those words and his visits that I believe in my heart of hearts, why I did not give up. I strongly feel that had Adonis not been in my heart, I would not have chosen to come back from that glorious place “Home”.
I'm sure you are wondering who Adonis is and is he still in my life ...till next time.