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Monday, October 4, 2010

The Healing Begins ~ Mondays...Part Three

After the “warm” (click here to read previous) welcome Mr. G’s cousins extended, during our trip to his farm, many questions danced through my head: Why is that they cannot accept Mr. G moving on with his life? Are they not happy that he is still alive? The most recurring question was, How can they treat their own flesh and blood, with so much disrespect after all he had suffered and lost? He was the one who had lost his spouse, yet these people made it all about themselves.

It was at times like these that I wished my head could focus and work like it use to. Of course I did not share the above thoughts and questions with Mr. G. , I tried to get him to forgive them for their hurtful words and actions and move forward to understanding that they must not be at peace with something within themselves. Yet, each time he tried to reach out to them and extend an olive branch, he would return more battered and bruised by their words. His hurt and heart heavier than each time before.

I felt so helpless in my ability to help Mr. G. he had helped me through so much, but my focus had to remain on my rehabilitation and I could not allow for any distractions. I was fortunate to have the love and support of my own family and friends, who made me, realize the situation with Mr. G’s family actually was not about me, but about him and the lack of respect his family had for him. Interestingly enough I would come to learn that this was something that Angel P had often voiced as a concern to Mr. G. at various times during their relationship and marriage, even weeks prior to her horrible accident.

In the months that followed things did not become any easier for Mr. G. His family, the people who were suppose to love him unconditionally, protect him, and support him, were instead isolating and pushing him away (they of course called their words, actions and behavior ~ LOVE for him). The love for his family made their actions and words that much more heart breaking for him. My heart went out to him not only because I loved and cared for him but also as a friend. I had never experienced nor witnessed such hatred in people, especially by someone’s own family.

The confirmation that God gives you what you need, was never more evident than in the love, support and understanding Angel P’s family gave (and continues to this day) Mr. G. It would be Angel P’s family who would keep him alive through the incomprehensible emotional abuse at the hands of his own family, who for some reason seemed to remain more concerned with what 3-4 cousins and strangers thought was right, than with Mr. G’s happiness and willingness to stay alive.

The year 2008 was coming to an end and with it so many endings and beginnings. I was adapting to my artificial elbow; Mr. G. with the love and support of Angel P’s family was starting to truly grow and come alive again; the renovations on the house, though not progressing as quickly as anticipated ,was slowly transforming it from a place of refuge, from so many painful hurts and memories in our respective lives,  to our home.

What I want to share with others ~

There are many uneducated (not scholastically ~ but about being human) people, who will try to negatively influence the opinions of others about you. They prey on the weak trying to keep them down. Stay strong, do not allow TOXIC PEOPLE to distract you from healing and fill you with hatered, instead wish them peace within themselves and their lives.

There is no book you can open that will give you the outcome of a specific situation. One thing is certain on this road of life we have many lessons to learn and without the various detours, pains, questions, and tests of faith we would not evolve into the souls we are meant to be.



  1. I feel so bad for you Mr. G! I have been on the other side of the stream when my mother died my father went out of his way to hurt the family members reaching out to support him. When he started dating another widow we were happy for him (ironically we like her more than him)when he asked my sister and I what would make it alright with us him getting remarried so soon. (seven months after the death of my mother) we asked that they not get engaged until after my sisters wedding and that they wait until Augest to get married. (Not a full year it would have been eight months after mother died). He smiled agreed and immediately went and proposed. Then he walked around on my sisters wedding day announcing his coming wedding turning my sisters day into his.
    It only got worse after that - not kidding. Your Mr. G sounds like he is doing everything he can to mend bridges and not hurt people - its hard to hear how they are treating someone I would loved to have as a father!

  2. How horrible. I don't understand why some people can be so nasty and self-centred. I'm going off at a tangent here but this reminds me of people who suddenly become caring family members when someone is on their deathbed, just to make sure they get as much of the inheritance as possible. Someone even stole my grandmother's expensive pearl necklace and replaced it with a fake one so nobody would notice (until we went to have it valued). These people just disgust me.

  3. It shows such great character and kindness that Angel P's family was able to support Mr. G in his struggle for happiness, and the will to live. They sound absolutely lovely :) I'm just sorry that his family (by blood) was not able to get over their own issues.

    I'm anxious to find out if they eventually realize that you two were brought together for a reason :)

  4. OMG that sounds terrible, I feel for Mr. G.

    But I also agree with you about the things you say my angel(despite sometimes is not easy). We must not allow people to distract us from healing and we do have many lessons to learn!!!!!

    Oh I'm so curious about you were born in Lisbon....

    Take care lovely, much love to you

  5. it sounds so unfair that Mr G should go through all of these... poor soul.

    i totally love what you said. we should never let toxic people keep us from healing. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  6. I just love your writing and sharing. I had to remove myself from alot of toxic people in order to heal. It was liberating....
    If you get the chance, stop by my blog to see a cute post about Lola....she and your little furbaby would make cute friends!
    I'm going out of town for a few days on a color tour of northern Michigan.
    Hugs to you, sweet friend.

  7. that's so terrible...poor mr. g.

  8. Thanks for sharing, although I know it is hard to write. I love the end..."there isn't a book that gives you the outcome."
    And yes, our growth and testing of faith is what molds us to be used by Him.

    Everything and everyone else isn't the answer...just our relationship with Christ will bring us through these times.

  9. Oh, that is so sad and unfair. I feel for Mr. G. You are so right darling about staying away from toxic people, they tend to suck you into their misery. Stay strong, sweetie. Glad you are sharing this with us.


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