Intensive Care – Step 2 of 4 to going home - Part of Picking Up the Pieces Mondays

I was settled in a private room surround by windows (not to the outside) and trying to get a handle on the “contraption” that enabled me to be heard. Still quite weak, I remained bed bound. The goal that I had to reach here was to have the “contraption” removed – by demonstrating that I could drink water and swallow on my own.

There was an extremely friendly, jolly nurse who became my friend – she would be instrumental in me attaining these goals. She would “supply” me with small pieces of ice-cubes to eat and slowly learn to swallow. By the time the “testing” person came I was able to swallow bits of water with no problem. Then it was getting approval to get me off the feeding tube – there was one nurse who was determined to not have it removed – I guess that meant she would have more work during feeding time – as the possibility of me choking and food going into my air passage was a high risk – due to the trach and hole in my throat. But with the help of my Nurse Friend and a compassionate Doctor, the feeding tube was removed. They started me on broth and slowly I graduated to something mushy they assured me was “food”. Jello became a food group to me.

The “contraption” was removed; the hole in my throat was bandaged. I was informed that it would “close” on its own – no stitches. Now when I attempted to speak there was a wheezing noise that could be heard through the bandages.

Though I was still quite weak, I was determined to get home. I begged and pleaded my case to be moved to the “Ward.” Looking back now I should have just stayed put and regained some strength and not insisted on being moved to the “Ward”. But at the time I was so confused, and did not understand just how seriously I had been injured.

What I want to share with others;

Although your loved one “may appear” to know what is best for them and seem to be doing better – know that mostly they are confused and scared. I don’t have the “magic” words that you can use to help them understand that recovery can’t be rushed – but I wish looking back now that someone had realized that I subconsciously I was trying to rush through recovery – not because I strong and brave – but because I was scared out of mind.

For anyone reading this who is going through anything similar in terms of needing to recover be it in an addiction Rehab Centre, hospital or any form where care is required, don’t rush to get through recovery – each minute of you being there is required to make you stronger so that healing can take place.

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