As anyone who is faced with Life Transitions will tell you the first to pull up root are the friends who say "they will be there for you, no matter what". The ones that say nothing but are there either in person, with a quick call/email to check how your day is going and later shows up at your door with a bottle of wine and ice-cream. Who will let you talk about your detour or let you be silent ~ pouring and scooping as required.
When I was healthy and could burn the candle at both ends I was surrounded by many "close" and dear friends, business associates and acquaintances. But when the the terrain I was travelling was drastically altered by my accident and the aftermath of the limitations it left in its wake ~ the numbers dropped much like water droplets from an icicle on an unseasonably warm winter's day - fast!I'm so blessed to have the small number of close (true) friends I count to today. Some are friends I have known for years (they've stuck by me through death and life - literally) others I have come to know in the past couple of years. Blogging has been a wonderful way to meet new friends and yes BlogLand friends can be and are real friends!! BlogFriends have been able to turn some of my dark days into sunshine filled days, by a comment they've left, an email or a post they wrote.
When we are in the midst of a life transition(s) and feel like we are on island alone with no one to turn to, it easy to become prey to some some very sneaky and self-serving people. They will latch onto you in sweet and caring ways ~ and before long you find yourself making excuses for their behavior (though inside you are thinking, no wonder they have no other friends or long term friends for that matter).
When we are striving to re-build/create a new life it's important to have a positive environment to grow and flourish in.
Some Weeds to keep out of your garden of Life:
"Competitors" always reminding you how bad she has it ~ after all she knows exactly what you are going through she had "low blood pressure", while you {fill in the blank} in my case, I had only come out of a coma. Yes, she is much worse off!
"Critical" no matter how beautiful you are shining the Critical will always remind you that you are just a few pounds from being huge again; or tell you every color is just unflattering; you can do or say no right.
"Discloser" this one promises to keep your conversation just between "you two", a promise which lasts only as long as it takes her to get to her phone or email. Worse is the discloser who embellishes things or leaves out important details as she tramples over you to try and get some sunshine for herself, at your expense.
"Gossip" much like the Disclosure only this person will repeat anything she hears, most often whatever she hears has already been embellished and she will add to it faster than than a hummingbird's wings can go. After all the more outlandish the better for the Gossip. Important to remember if she is dishing about her friends to you ~ you can be sure you are a topic of discussion to others she knows.
"Domes Day Nancy" this is the person that no matter how much she has good in her life she only focuses on the bad ... and if there is no bad she creates it, she is never happy and therefore cannot be happy for others.
"Gertrude Grudge" the world revolves around her, if you don't call or email her (as she
expects) or if she feels you are not sharing every part of your life with her she will cut you off! Never mind that you may have had a crisis in your life.
Have you found a weed or two among your Garden of Life?
Don't miss Part Two ~ The Nutrients every Garden of Life needs ...
Very insightful post, Celia...wow! Yes, as difficult as it might be, I have had to eliminate some weeds in my life through the years. They tended to be relationships where I was expending huge amounts of energy emotionally uplifting the other person to the point that it felt like I was the "fixer"...too emotionally draining and then you are left wondering if the person even knows what's going on in your life because they never asked. It is healthy to cultivate relationships where we feel the give and take is equal and feel heard and affirmed. Great post, Celia.
ReplyDeleteLove to you.
well celia, all i can say, is without the weeds you wouldn't have progressed to where you can recognize that they are 'weeds' and pull them from your garden so the flowers can grown.
ReplyDeleteCelia,
ReplyDeleteVery well said and you speak the truth. Wonderful thought provoking words.
Enjoy your weekend!
Leslie
I am afraid I have had each of them in my life at one time or another .. some stayed longer than they should have ..
ReplyDeleteAt this point in life and the geography of it .. I have acquaintances and all the other friends are on other planets, so email is my method of communication. and the lovely thing is, no one is nasty, everyone is sweet and I can't get on their nerves and they aren't mean to me.
But there was one ... a nasty weed cloaked as a joking pal ... I got smart eventually and threw that one in the weed bin.
besitos, C
Dearest Celia,
ReplyDeletePerfectly said. You could spend weeding such a garden in bright sunlight or in heavy down pour - it still doesn't matter. Love your picture where the weed is literally strangling the beautiful bloom. Too bad this doesn't show in the sidebar.
Have a lovely weekend and hope your garden, real and the garden of life, is coming along fine!
Love and hugs,
Mariette
Ah, yes, I have had each of those "friends" in my life. Some for too long as I always try to see the beauty in everyone. One of my girlfriend's and I were talking of this subject last night. Life is too short to keep them around. A few, true friends are all you need. I tell my children this all of the time.. I feel it's very true.
ReplyDeletePlease stop by for my Lavender Dreams Giveaway. Wishing you a lovely weekend, mon ami! xoxo, B