The gals of Sex and the City are a great representation of the ease in which friendships are made in our 30s. The opportunities for social outings with other women seemed limitless and friendships were easily made. Why does that seem to change as we get into our late 40s and 50s? Is it age or is it something else?
I pondered this question recently, and thought about my own situation; at first glance it was easy to paint it as an age thing. But with further thought, I believe it's more of a life stage thing, and not being able to make friends after 50 really is a limiting believe. There is no friendship cut off age and as life changes (think geographic moves, divorce or loss of spouse/partner, illness, semi/retirement, empty nester etc.) or, current friends no longer offer the support and encouragement that makes a friendship, many people find themselves needing or wanting to make new friends.
Most notably when I found myself with unexpected free time on my hands and reached out to my gal friends for an impromptu gals nite. While everyone was excited about the idea and so wanted to attend - most already had other commitments for that evening. What I learned is that impromptu may not work the way it once did - as many have spouses, children, grandchildren; others are back in the dating scene or already filling their weekends way ahead of time (one friend in particular is booked every weekend past Labour Day!).
Does this mean that social activities as your life stage changes is limited to mostly family or solo activities? ABSOLUTELY NOT! ~ one only has to click through Instagram to see women in their late 40s, 50s and beyond actively having amazing social lives with their gal (and even male) pals.
Here are 8 ideas to start cultivating new friendships:
Here are 8 ideas to start cultivating new friendships:
1) Step outside your front door: this may seem like a given, but you will not meet new people unless you get out your front door.
2) Give Back : volunteering is a great way to help others, feel a sense of belonging to a community and meeting new people.
3) Make Friends with Yourself : take yourself out on dates, and outings, get to know what you enjoy (and equally important what you don't like) doing. When you are your own friend, you are exuding an air of happiness, confidence, and love; and that will be the friends you will attract.
4) Take a class: It doesn't matter what the class is - so long as it's something you enjoy. You will already have one thing in common with your classmates. So sign up for that pottery, yoga, sewing, spin etc. class.
5) Travel with a Tour Group: If you enjoy travelling but all your friends are busy or you have no one to travel with, don't let that enjoyment go. Travelling with a tour group, offers the feeling of traveling with someone as well as the opportunity to meet new people who may turn into a new friend.
6) Reconnect with Friends: Sometimes friends drift because of life circumstances. If there is a friend you really enjoyed doing things with reach out to them, who knows you may be able to pick up where you left off or may have an amazing new friendship. If it doesn't go beyond the initial contact - that's ok too!
7) Create a Social Routine: Especially if you work from home, are (semi/) retired, that gets you out of the house. Once or twice a week - have coffee at a particular cafe; go for a walk; or meet friends after after work.
8) Use Technology : Whether you find yourself in a new city or your life stage has changed MeetUp.com is a great way to meet new people with common interests.
Would love for you to share in the comments
your experiences and ideas for making new friends in the Resilientista Years..
your experiences and ideas for making new friends in the Resilientista Years..
image credits: 1) Google Images 2)Diamond
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