Inspiration for living a luxuriously and balanced life

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Being Social & Friendships in the Resilientista Years

The gals of Sex and the City are a great representation of the ease in which friendships are made in our 30s. The opportunities for social outings with other women seemed limitless and friendships were easily made. Why does that seem to change as we get into our late 40s and 50s? Is it age or is it something else?

I pondered this question recently, and thought about my own situation; at first glance it was easy to paint it as an age thing. But with further thought, I believe it's more of a life stage thing, and not being able to make friends after 50 really is a limiting believe. There is no friendship cut off age and as life changes (think geographic moves, divorce or loss of spouse/partner, illness, semi/retirement, empty nester etc.) or, current friends no longer offer the support and encouragement that makes a friendship, many people find themselves needing or wanting to make new friends.

Most notably when I found myself with unexpected free time on my hands and reached out to my gal friends for an impromptu gals nite. While everyone was excited about the idea and so wanted to attend - most already had other commitments for that evening. What I learned is that impromptu may not work the way it once did - as many have spouses, children, grandchildren; others are back in the dating scene or already filling their weekends way ahead of time (one friend in particular is booked every weekend past Labour Day!). 

Does this mean that social activities as your life stage changes is limited to mostly family or solo activities? ABSOLUTELY NOT! ~ one only has to click through Instagram to see women in their late 40s, 50s and beyond actively having amazing social lives with their gal (and even male) pals.

Here are 8 ideas to start cultivating new friendships:

1) Step outside your front door: this may seem like a given, but you will not meet new people unless you get out your front door.

2) Give Back : volunteering is a great way to help others, feel a sense of belonging to a community and meeting new people.

3) Make Friends with Yourself : take yourself out on dates, and outings, get to know what you enjoy (and equally important what you don't like) doing. When you are your own friend, you are exuding an air of happiness, confidence, and love; and that will be the friends you will attract.

4) Take a class: It doesn't matter what the class is - so long as it's something you enjoy. You will already have one thing in common with your classmates. So sign up for that pottery, yoga, sewing, spin etc. class.

5) Travel with a Tour Group: If you enjoy travelling but all your friends are busy or you have no one to travel with, don't let that enjoyment go. Travelling with a tour group, offers the feeling of traveling with someone as well as the opportunity to meet new people who may turn into a new friend.

6) Reconnect with Friends: Sometimes friends drift because of life circumstances. If there is a friend you really enjoyed doing things with reach out to them, who knows you may be able to pick up where you left off or may have an amazing new friendship. If it doesn't go beyond the initial contact - that's ok too!

7) Create a Social Routine: Especially if you work from home, are (semi/) retired, that gets you out of the house. Once or twice a week - have coffee at a particular cafe; go for a walk; or meet friends after after work.

8) Use Technology : Whether you find yourself in a new city or your life stage has changed  MeetUp.com  is a great way to meet new people with common interests.

Would love for you to share in the comments 
your experiences and ideas for making new friends in the Resilientista Years..

image credits: 1) Google Images 2)Diamond

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Sunday, July 16, 2017

Relationships & What I've Learned at 50

1) All relationships have an expiry date, and too often we remain in a relationship hoping "the person" will change their spots, despite how many times they let us down. 

2) When a relationship has come to an end no matter how long it may not have been good - you still need to take time to heal, reconnect with yourself and recharge yourself. Jumping into another relationship will only provide a band-aid solution and you may find yourself in the same predicament in the months, years to come.

3) If someone's actions threaten your well being - be it health, financial, emotional or physical well-being;while your heart may want to give them an opportunity to make things better, it's also important to set a time limit for things to be rectified. Let the person know ... and then do not cave! Walk away. If you let them know how something is making you feel and they don't take steps to make you feel secure - then they are being about them self only - and have no interest in comprise (or your feelings).

4) If someone is not happy with your reaction to their original action, that you brought to their attention - and goes on to further break your trust and blames you because of the reaction ! RUN!! as much as your heart may not have caught up with your head. KNOW it takes two to make things work or not - if he takes no responsibility for his part, know he has given you a gift of freedom, even if it's rocking your very essence and being to the core and it hurts like hell!

5) Each relationship teaches us something - if we take the time to reflect and identify the lessons. Knowing the lessons will better equip us to apply them in future relationships, thus breaking the cycle and not having to relearn the lesson.

6) Forgiveness is key to moving forward. Forgive for your own well being - even if you don't tell the other person you forgive them. Try this mantra "I let go, and forgive him" - keep repeating it until it's true. 

7) A man will always tell you who he really is. If he says "you are too good for him", "he is a bad boy" BELIEVE him. This was something a good friend's mother once told us - while I have never forgotten this - I may not always have put her very wise words to practice.

8) Relationships are hard work and I do believe that almost everything can be worked out. But if the person you are with has not worked out his relationship with himself - don't expect things to be smooth sailing.

9) The early days, weeks, months and even years may run smoothly, after all it's shiny new. Even if its built on the ruins of the past relationship. But in time cracks will appear. Until each person has dealt with their pain of a past relationship and has a healthy relationship with them self - they cannot truly have a healthy relationship with another.

10) Even healthy relationships can come to an end. The difference is though some things may not have worked - RESPECT and LOVE has always been present. You both cared enough to recognize you may not work as a couple, and that's OK .... but you are able to maintain a friendship. 

The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” — Carrie Bradshaw

What relationship lessons have you learned? 
Would love for you to add to the above in the comments.
images via: Google images

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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Hello ~ I'm Making My Way Back...

Hello Lovelies:

I know it's been a while since I last posted here and visited many of you, thank you for all the emails and PM asking how I was doing -  know I'm slowly working my way back. There have been lots of changes happening all around me; some by choice, others not so much. In the midst of the chaos I launched the Resilientista Magazine (which I'll share more about on it's own future post); and my calendar has been filled with lots of community service, and taking care of my health & wellness.

As I reviewed all that was on my desk, I realized that I was in need of some serious streamlining for my well being, so I started to look at ways to do this. Writing two blogs was really overwhelming and so I have decided to only blog here. And will be restructuring Resilientista to better reflect the direction it is taking, which will no longer include a blog section. But don't worry lovelies, it is remaining self care , self love, and creating the life you want to be living in the next chapter of  your life -  focused. It will also be highlighting some extraordinary women who are passionate about helping women live their best life - can't wait to share all the fabulousness with you!!

Since I will be a little wrapped up finalizing the restructuring of Resilientista over the next couple of months, I'm sharing below some of the most popular posts from Resilientista Musings, you may not have seen or perhaps would enjoy reading again. 

I'm looking forward to being back to the blogging world very soon. 

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Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Month in Photos - April 2017

When you take time to reflect ... it's amazing how many small things you really enjoy!
Here is a snapshot of what made my April...

The bitter cold made way for mild chills and the urns on the front porch got a little more colorful.
Enjoyed afternoon tea at Colette Grand CafĂ© with my friend Shirley ... 
Attended a women's networking event at Verity - learned great stuff and mingled with some amazing 
women who are building their Empires!
Easter lunch at home was a great reminder of the importance of having 
regular gatherings over a meal.
 The great weather beckon road trips to the country home .. and these two were all in!
The Resilientista Magazine launched in April with the Spring 2017 issue. 
If you missed it you can read it here ... and you can subscribe ( IT'S FREE) HERE.
Attended CAFTCAD - one of Toronto's busiest working stages - WOW ! what unique finds 
from film and television productions shot in Toronto - such fun!!
Made my way to the Evergreen Brick Works and discovered some amazing Belgium waffles. 
Will be keeping an eye out for where the Wafel Bar truck will be in the city this summer. 
My favourite highlight for April was making it to High Park to enjoy the cherry blossoms!
It really is magical - and this year Mother Nature really put on quite a show..

What made your high light reel in April ?

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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Weekend in the City - Spring

The weather has certainly been amazing here in Toronto and the warmth and sunshine is really beckoning me to get outside. Here are some of the things I'm considering this weekend...
According to the park's website - the original prediction of full bloom between April 23 and 26 has now extended through the weekend of April 29 and 30. It really is a sight to behold, and unlike most things we can access on demand - if you miss this year's bloom - you will need to wait another year to experience this magical show from mother nature. More details, maps and driving/TTC directions can be found HERE.
 Event Info
Whether you are passionate about sewing, knitting, felting, quilting, beading, stitching, crocheting, scrapbooking, embellishing, crafting and other creative art forms, there is something you to fuel your creative bone.
Friday, April 28 – 10:00am to 6:00pm
Saturday, April 29 – 10:00am to 5:00pm

International Centre, Entrance 1
6900 Airport Rd, Mississauga, ON Canada L4V 1E8
with free parking

Visit one of Toronto's busiest working stages and scoop up unique finds from film and television productions shot in Toronto.

Authors of Indies Day
On April 29, get out and help support independent bookstores.  The event takes places at various locations throughout the city with readings, signings and appearances - click here for more information.. runs all day from 11 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Catch two of the finest Jazz musicians in the country, Ted Quinlan & Mike Downes at Arvo Coffee in the Distillery District on April 30th - admission is free. more info here.

The 2017 Hot Docs Festival,  showcases 230 films from a record 58 countries -  April 27 to May 7.  Tickets range from from $17 - $24 ... View film schedule HERE.

FREE Daytime Screenings ~ Courtesy of documentary Channel
Seniors (60+) and students with valid ID can take advantage of free admission to films that start before 5:00 p.m. Pick up your tickets at the screening venue’s box office on the day of the screening, subject to availability.
Last weekend to experience Street Food Market at the Evergreen Brick Works.  Since early March  weekend visitors to the Evergreen Brick works have been enjoying a collection of local, street-inspired eateries from across the GTA. Kick off your weekend with a breakfast fix starting at 10 am ... or visit through the day until 5:00 pm on both Saturday and Sunday.  I know I'm looking forward to experiencing the Wafel Bar!! Find out more HERE

What fun outings, activities do you have on your mind/planned 
for this weekend where you live?

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