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Inspiration for living a luxuriously and balanced life

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Are you in need of Toxic People Detoxification?

Toxic people come in all sizes and shapes, and everyone has at least one of these people in their life. Though you may usually find you are able to deflect their negative energy and not get too ruffled up. It is important to know they are unhealthy for your mind and spirit and in time the annoyance can quickly turn into physical pain such as a headache when they are near you.



Who are these people?

A toxic person(s) can be a friend, colleague, co-worker, employer, and the woman behind the counter at the fitness centre and YES even a family member(s).

 
Some characteristics include, but not limited to: extremely negative, narcissistic, unhappy, complainer, envious, financially reckless, self serving and abusive (physically and/or emotionally).

Why do these people behave this way? Is it something I did?

Somewhere in their life something happened that was not resolved. Toxic people are great manipulators; they will try to twist things around and around to make you feel guilty or that it’s your fault. You are not to blame for their actions or attitude. Each person on this earth is responsible for their own choices, actions and behavior.

What harm do Toxic People possess?

Toxic people will drain your energy; affect your health and emotional state.

How can I protect myself?

The moment you suspect someone is toxic to you – stop their power over you, though you cannot control someone else’s behavior or actions, you can take back your power by removing yourself. Pain = something is wrong, so learn to trust your gut feelings, and only put yourself in situations that make you feel good. Surround yourself with positive forward moving people.

When the Toxic Person(s) is a Family Member(s)

Detaching yourself from a Family Member(s) will be one of the most difficult things you will do in your life. It is important to keep reminding yourself that you are responsible for your own well being, letting others drag you down, no matter how much you love and care about them ~ is irresponsible to yourself and well being. If you have tried to reach out to this person with no success, it’s time to walk away.

Again, I cannot emphasize enough, you are not alone … trust your gut feelings... and take care of  yourself. You cannot and are not expected to save everyone at the expense of your own health, know when its time to walk away. Wish them well and do not judge them, send them peace, love and light whenever you think of them and pray that they will gain the strength to seek the help they so desperately need.

Have you had to deal with a Toxic Person(s) in your life?
How did you handle the situation?

24 comments:

  1. you are so right about stepping away.
    i have had to do that many times,
    happily before it got too toxic.

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  2. I know the impact of toxic families and your advice is wise and sound. A great post, HHL, and one that will surely help others.
    xoxo

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  3. Great post and yes I have come across toxic people and detaching myself form them is difficult but worth it.
    Detox in any form is great for the internal growth

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  4. I have been down this road and yes, it's tough when it's a family member. xo

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  5. AWESOME POST!!!

    Girl, I can't stand to be around negative people. That's just NOT me. Can't stand it. I totally remove myself from these situations. I'd rather stay home and scrub toilets that hang out doing something fun and fab with Debbie Downers!

    XXOO

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  6. Such a great post, almost as though you have a hidden camera.. This is exactly what has happened to me this weekend, it is the reason I took my blog down for a while.
    My Toxic person is family and you have described the characteristics perfectly, I had to make a decision as this person was making me ill and my families life miserable.. although the guilt I feel is tough I know I have to do it xx

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  7. A number of years ago this person was someone I worked with.

    There are others in my life that have this effect on me and well I try not to be around them too much.

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  8. Great post...and so true. It is harder when it is family, but they can bring you down. I have seen in a toxic relationship that if I pray about them coming and ask God to protect me, then if they were in their toxic mood God usually provided something that kept them from coming.
    I have started to rely on Him to take care of the situation or give me grace when they come....so far it has worked.

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  9. i have definitely had a few of these "toxic" people in my life... and i do something that i call "politely stop being friends with someone"
    it doesn't always end politely... but it ends.

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  10. I gradually became aware of the toxic people in my life a few years ago. After years of giving them a shoulder to cry on and encouraging them, I realized that they never took advice and things never got any better.

    First I set boundaries with them: "Let's focus on positive things, okay! I'm not allowing myself to focus on the negative any longer." But when things didn't change, I began to let them go.

    It's so hard! I still miss and love these people. But I won't be an enabler for them. You're so right about how it drains you AND it does them no good!

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  11. Oh, this was good reading! I recently have been through some terrible stuff, but I never let anyone control me...Right now I just avoid people like that and surround myself with good ones :)

    xx

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  12. I'm definitely adding this to my vocab, I'd never thought of people being toxic before but it's great! So true, unfortunately, they are all over the place and the best thing is to do is to cut all ties and stay away from them. It's a pain when it's in the family... and can cause a lot of emotional pain.

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  13. this is great!
    check out my giveaway!

    http://fashioncurved.blogspot.com/2010/10/giveaway-timeee.html

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  14. Oh how funny you should post this today ~ I had a horrific experience with an extremely toxic person yesterday, and it is still affecting me today, even though I am trying my best to shake it off and have nearly succeeded. I feel sorry for that type of person that is so miserable in their own life...Thank goodness we are not! I prefer the glass half full and like to smell my roses, thank you!
    Stay away from them at all cost!!! :)
    Have a WONDERFUL weekend,
    Nathalie

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  15. I tend to try to avoid toxic people. I'm one of those impressionable people so I know I need to stay away from them so I don't become as miserable as they are.

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  16. Good post, sometimes people are so concerned about pleasing others (no matter who it is) that they forget to make themselves happy. If you have a toxic person in your life, get out! I can't say enough how much courage it took me to do this in my own life but I have been so blessed because of it. I have never been happier, and now I know, I deserve better :)
    stay well,
    allie

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  17. Boy does this post come through loud and clear. How do these people even live with themselves? Do they know? I am lucky enough to have the uncanny ability to completely avoid someone with whom I cannot stand anymore - I simply fade out...and hope they get the hint. Plus a good dose of humor doesn't hurt. Life is too precious to waste on the negative.

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  18. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog, it is always nice to see a friendly face! Happy Birthday to your Godson, he is adorable! I love your blog and what a great post on toxic people, so true! I have a quote that I love:

    There is always something to do.There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort.And while I don't expect you to save the world I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are ...visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect. Giovanni

    Have a great weekend!!
    XOXO

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  19. toxic people are the worse. I try to avoid them but...it can be hard
    xoxo
    SC

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  20. Oh have i! I have had many many toxic people and thankful as of now they are not in my life anymore because i simply could not handle it! Great post!

    XO
    Jessica

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  21. great post!!!
    i had a toxic friend, after years of standing her, finally i got angry with her. Now i'm happier!!
    kisses! :)

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  22. Yes, stepping away ! I have a handful of those. I can't be around them at all...I enjoyed this. Thank you so much :)

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  23. Hi sweet friend! I haven't been blog visiting much lately, but it's been nice "catching up" with you tonight.

    This post, in particular, hit home. I've had to deal with a toxic person lately and it's draining...to say the least. I'm trying my best to think of how I will handle it.

    Hugs,
    Kat

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  24. Dearest Celia,
    Sorry, I missed this post... to short after Pieter's quadruple bypass and I was not much at my PC.
    YES, I've encountered toxic people in friends, and above all, in family.
    We never will understand why but it really does affect your health. Especially your blood pressure!
    I pray that I will escape them all.
    Sending you hugs,
    Mariette

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. Know that each one is appreciated and read. Any questions posed in comments in will be responded to via the Reply button below your comment. - Live Life Luxuriously!

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