This Valentine's be Your Own Valentine ...Part I

Valentine's Day much like other celebrations has fallen prey to "commercialization". The day has evolved from the simple exchange of handwritten letters and cards from the heart and possibly a small sentimental token of one's affection; to a feeling of obligation and/or entitlement for most anyone in a relationship.

Wanting (needing) to be loved and to love someone is part of our human nature. So when Valentine's Day rolls around - not having a special someone to show us love and romance can leave us feeling deflated/unworthy. But, just because one is in a relationship does not guarantee the feeling of being loved, wanted, needed - actually the expectations we set (of our loved one) can end up leaving us unfulfilled and lonely - if our loved one does not meet them.

It's almost as if Valentine's Day has become (perhaps unconscious) benchmark of "how much we are loved". This benchmark is as different as we are individual, for some the simple card with a handwritten note or a phone call is all they need. While others feel they are not loved unless flowers (red roses - long stemmed- at that), fancy dinner out/night on the town, diamonds, pearls or a little orange or blue box is involved.

What I have learned over the years is that one should not depend on another person to feel loved,complete and pampered. After all we are the constant person in our life, as such it is important that we learn to be good to our self on daily basis.

original image Google search ~ edits and Quote addition HHL

The first time this Ah ha moment happened for me, was in 2002 ~ after renting for a number of years (thinking that I should wait until Prince Charming rode in on his horse and we would buy our castle together)  I was getting tired of paying someone else's mortgage and was looking into taking the plunge into home ownership. At this time I had been in a relationship with someone on and off for a couple years, who for the most part spent 90% of his time, when not working or being out with friends, at my apartment (and contributed nothing). When I brought up the subject of buying a home - this person tried their best to talk me out of it. To make a long story short - with the help of a dear girl friend, I found a home I was comfortable with and made the deal on my own. When I shared my joy with then boyfriend - he went ballistic, how could I do this without him? As my girl friend had said as I signed the deal, "you know this is going to be the end of your relationship" to which I smiled and responded "Yes, and I'm going to be a home owner". I would learn later that he wasn't in a financial/emotional position to leave the comfort of his parent's home - and to think that I was, well that just wasn't going to happen (if he had anything to do with). Almost 11 years later I still own that home, he last I heard still lives with his parents.

The day I moved into my home I realized that only I could make my dreams a reality and that was the day I promised to love and take care of myself - not depending on someone else to make me happy, feel loved or nurtured. By really loving myself (and respecting myself) I became more satisfied internally and externally and thus I attracted more love, happiness and abundance into my life.

Much has happened since 2002 and I sometimes find myself walking slightly off my Ah ha moment path, these past few of years (since my accident in 2007). But, just like in 2002 only when I truly (unconditionally) believe in myself, nurture, and love myself ~ can my dreams become reality. Loving one's self means accepting yourself as you are at this very moment - and loving and accepting both your strengths and limitations.

Join me for tea later this week - and I'll share some ways to rekindle the Romance with yourself.