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Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Life you were Living has been Discontinued..

and replaced with a Life in Transition ...

Changes occur in our lives; marriage, death of a loved one, divorce, traumatic event(s), illness, parenting, shifts in friendship, career loss, the list of possible events that may alter the path we thought we were on is endless. Though different and unique to each person/life these events do have one common denominator (whether expected or unexpected) they will result in sending one's life into transition.

Transition can be a very scary place to be, as it is often made up of numerous unknowns, all at the same time. What will I do? How will I support family/myself? Who will want me? Where will I live? Why is this happening? When will it be over? Unfortunately there are no simple answers, cookie cutter solutions, or preset time for healing.

There is no RIGHT or WRONG way to deal with your Life in Transition, we are all different and our journey through change will also be unique to us.

It's OK to cry ...

It's OK to stay in your PJs ...
(for a couple of days)

It's OK to want to be by yourself ...

Life Transitions are the result of an ending, it does not matter whether change was expected or unexpected, just like all endings (good or bad) it's important to grieve the loss of who you were and the life you had.

Again there is no preset time for grieving ~ for some it may be minutes, while others will carry the grief of loss for weeks, months and possibly years. What is important is to acknowledge the grief and carry on living. With each step forward creating a new you and or life, you are a step closer to living life by your terms and no longer being victim of change.

Life in Transition will be a new series here on High Heeled Life in the Country,starting autumn 2012. I welcome any questions you may have related to facing Life in Transition or your tips on getting through life changes. You can email me at fallingoffahighheeledlife@gmail.com , I look forward to your emails.


  1. Dearest Celia,

    That will be a well read subject by many! So important to analyze this. Personal loss, tragedy or whatever will hit home for most of us during our life time.
    Thanks for being such a great writer about personal things.
    Hope you enjoy summer and your special garden with your love and furbabies.
    A hug for you and lots of love,

  2. well this post really spoke to me. although i haven't experienced anything as traumatic as you dear Celia, it certainly has been a challenging year so far with the loss of my godfather, loss of my husband's 26 year job with brother in law's company (as if it wasn't bad enough, the family thing is making it very difficult), the loss of my 'sister' friend, and now another friend. i just keep muddling through. because sometimes that's all we can do, as you well know. you're the best!

  3. Having lost my husband this year,I read your post and understood it well. All you wrote was so true, so important. I look forward to this new series. Thank you for putting it out there.

  4. I think we all go through periods of transition at different times in our lives, and for different reasons.
    Some good, some bad.
    Incredible post. Love you girl!! xo

  5. This life in transition still challenges my family 10 years later... Great series idea Celia!

  6. This sounds like a good topic, Celia. I'm sure many will get ministered to here. Thank you for being open and honest and willing to share from your own experience. And thank you for stopping by for tea the other day. I hope you have a wonderful Canada Day weekend.


  7. GOOD MORNING MY DEAR! I had a very hard time getting into your blog but I am here now. THANK YOU FOR VISITING and how interesting and exciting to make a CHANGE....transitions require just that and I am going through one now due to resigning from my teaching job. YOU WILL DO JUST FINE and transitions require patience with oneself.


  8. Celia,

    I feel like you wrote this just for me. I ask myself everyone of those questions everyday. I will be divorced August 8th and Tim's addiction continues to spiral leaving the kids and I in a facing a very uncertain future financially. It's frightening but I believe God has a light at the end of the tunnel. You said it perfectly, I DO NOT want to be a victim of change.

    This will be an awesome series.

    Deb xo

  9. I believe you know a lot about this. It's so good you choose it as a topic. I like that people commenting are opening up. I believe you can encourage some people. We can always use the hard times we have gone through to help others. That is really beautiful!! Have a great weekend!


  10. You are certainly the right person to tackle such an important topic. I don't know anyone who is past the age of 30 who hasn't had some sort of tragedy in their life. I have a friend who just discovered her husband has been having an affair - actually walked in on them together - and she is devastated. A 25 year marriage down the drain in an instant. What would be interesting to know is what your take is on how to be a supportive friend without becoming a nuisance. While I want to be there for my friend, I want to give her space, too. Everyone is different so I am sure this is pretty much impossible question to answer, but have you had any experience with someone giving you too much support?

    Have a lovely Friday.
    xo, A

  11. Your friend is really going to need your love, caring and support as she faces this transition in her life. She may feel embarrassed (that this has happened to her - though it's not her fault)and you may find her non-available; don't take it personal ... drop her an email or send her a note card ..letting her know how wonderful she is and that when she is ready to talk or just sit and have a cup of tea (or something stronger) you are there for her.

    As a friend you may feel that she needs to get out ... but she may feel other wise - and that's OK ... we all grief loss differently (and the end of a marriage is a huge loss)...letting her know you are there is the most important ,,,oh and asking "how are you doing/feeling" for me was not a question I ever understood, after a traumatic experience. You may try asking "could I bring you some food?" or "is there something I can do/bring you?" ..Hope this helps.. thoughts and prayers that your friend finds the peace she needs to move forward with her life..xo HHL

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  13. It's funny - I hadn't read this when I wrote my piece - so very similar - about changes, divorce, etc... But I want to add that while change is often out of our control, and usually very scary, it has great symbolism. While one door closes, a new one opens... And that new window can open a whole wonderfully amazing world!

  14. I look forward to MORE of this series. It's going to be wonderful. I still remember when I finally faced that I had to put the past firmly behind me and quit visiting it. It took awhile yet once I did, I ran, not only into a new future but a better "now". The past was holding me back because I was analyzing it to death, remembering the pain, focusing on the tears - oh blah blah blah. One day I sat and listened to a woman telling me her story. I realized that while my story was horrid, hers was beyond my comprehension. Someone had a story worse than mine. I needed to get over myself. It was a lightbulb day for me. It was the day I quit being a victim and began living life fully again.


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