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Monday, July 12, 2010

Intensive Care – Step 2 of 4 to going home - Part of Picking Up the Pieces Mondays

I was settled in a private room surround by windows (not to the outside) and trying to get a handle on the “contraption” that enabled me to be heard. Still quite weak, I remained bed bound. The goal that I had to reach here was to have the “contraption” removed – by demonstrating that I could drink water and swallow on my own.

There was an extremely friendly, jolly nurse who became my friend – she would be instrumental in me attaining these goals. She would “supply” me with small pieces of ice-cubes to eat and slowly learn to swallow. By the time the “testing” person came I was able to swallow bits of water with no problem. Then it was getting approval to get me off the feeding tube – there was one nurse who was determined to not have it removed – I guess that meant she would have more work during feeding time – as the possibility of me choking and food going into my air passage was a high risk – due to the trach and hole in my throat. But with the help of my Nurse Friend and a compassionate Doctor, the feeding tube was removed. They started me on broth and slowly I graduated to something mushy they assured me was “food”. Jello became a food group to me.

The “contraption” was removed; the hole in my throat was bandaged. I was informed that it would “close” on its own – no stitches. Now when I attempted to speak there was a wheezing noise that could be heard through the bandages.

Though I was still quite weak, I was determined to get home. I begged and pleaded my case to be moved to the “Ward.” Looking back now I should have just stayed put and regained some strength and not insisted on being moved to the “Ward”. But at the time I was so confused, and did not understand just how seriously I had been injured.

What I want to share with others;

Although your loved one “may appear” to know what is best for them and seem to be doing better – know that mostly they are confused and scared. I don’t have the “magic” words that you can use to help them understand that recovery can’t be rushed – but I wish looking back now that someone had realized that I subconsciously I was trying to rush through recovery – not because I strong and brave – but because I was scared out of mind.

For anyone reading this who is going through anything similar in terms of needing to recover be it in an addiction Rehab Centre, hospital or any form where care is required, don’t rush to get through recovery – each minute of you being there is required to make you stronger so that healing can take place.

image: google search -hunterhospital


  1. I can only imagine how badly you wanted to rush through it so you could be home. But it's like you said, 'each minute being there is required to make you stronger so that the healing can take place.'

    Again, thanks for the insight. I'm really learning a lot from your blog.

  2. These are thoughts that most of us would never know if it weren't for you. Your willingness to share for the good of others is remarkable. You are one who is twisting the really, REALLY bad to be something that helps others and if you were here in front of me right now I'd give you a standing ovation.

    Much love to you.

    2 PSs: Thanks for the award and you won my last giveaway ... if you'd like to claim it, email to me your mailing address: lovely.silver.strands@gmail.com

  3. It's amazing that I read this today. I was having a very similar conversation with my mom's doctor at the hospital yesterday. He stressed that she's still in the treatment/healing phase of her illness and that, in time, she will get better. But, things can't be rushed. We so want to get back to "normal," so it's hard to not be in control and let go. Thanks for this.

  4. It really is brave of you to share all this, I imagine too that it is mutual and good for your healing process. I think it must be very scary and humbling to realise just how close to death you must have been.
    I am currently struggling with a temporary tooth "thing" I am finding it so hard to eat properly I am eating crap and drinking too much so that I can sleep .. it will be over in 9 days LOL and its nothing.. I cannot bare to think of not being able to eat or speak. I also love the fact you are giving advice to loved ones as it is true you do not know what to do or say sometimes as you just want your friend/partner/ family member back to normal xx

  5. What a time you have been through. I have worked as a Critical Care Nurse and I have seen the suffering. It breaks my heart that anyone would need my service but I have always been glad that I had the training to help. I hope you had more good nurses then bad when all is said and done.
    I was directed to your site via silver strands and Iam the creator of the prize you won! So it is on it's way! I will e-mail you when I get it sent so you will know when to expect it.
    I hope it brings a smile to your face and happiness to your heart. Keep up the good work here I will be following!

  6. My dearest friend, I read this and I am touched that you have survived and that you have picked up the pieces one by one....thank you for your comments on both my Castles and Writing blog...we can learn much from a duck, Non? DHEHEHEHEHEEE...and from each other, indeed. You are an inspiration with your grace and gusto for living and thank you for this reminder. You mentioned that you are all in a phase one of adding on to your home???? Or are you referring to this post...either way, it is a time of building dreams. You have a solid foundation, and that is what matters; the rest is one piece at a time.

    Thank you for your visits and do come back anytime dear one. Anita

  7. It must be painful to go over all of this, but as Ruth says, very much part of the healing process that you are able to share this with us. I hate to ask, but reading these posts makes me so curious, what was the injury to that part of your body that required you to have the Trach? Ignore me if I am being intrusive. Hopefully one day we will meet and you can tell me all about it. Much love today my friend xx

  8. I am left in amazement at the inner strength you must have to not only have gone through this tragic ordeal but to be able to relive it once again for us, your readers. My brother was in a horrific car accident 12 years ago. By the grace of god, he was pulled out barely alive and as you know better than any of us, his road to recovery has been a long and laborious one that continues to this day. Unlike you, he has a very difficult time speaking of it, which I believe has made it even harder to come to terms with what happened to him many years ago. I hope that this process helps you just as much as it helps us understand, especially those of us who have been personally affected by circumstances such as these. I commend you for this brave effort, my friend.

  9. My dear friend.... tears falling... words falling.... (I know a little).
    Oh you're so brave!!!!!!

    Much love, my angel.



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