The Princess Wakes UP ... Once Upon a Time

This is the 4th instalment in the Once Upon a Time, a weekly series. 

To view previous instalments in this series click here.  

As the the Angels guided the princess's soul to be reunited with her human body, the knowledge she had gained of events that would or would not occur should she remain Home, was slowly being removed from her active memory. They would however, let her keep memories of her visit Home.

As she continued to sleep the princess, 

felt as if she was floating in a grande bed. Possibly this was at the time her soul connected with it's earthly body.

The feeling of floating was soon replaced with a feeling of pain, a throbbing head and voices. Why was she hearing people in her bedroom. That must have been some dinner party!

As the voices and the words became clearer to her, there was one that stood out from the rest, a very familiar voice. It was that of her sister's ....

Suddenly, the princess's eyes opened (had she not had them open already ~she thought~ as the light hurt her open eyes). The princess tried to lift her head , but it felt like it was being held down; her legs were not moving either; her arms felt like lead weights and something was preventing her from turning her neck. As she went to speak, she realized no sound was coming out. Not that it would have mattered the words floating in her head were making no sense any ways.

 As she felt her eye lids getting heavier ... she heard her sister say

" You have been in terrible accident, but you are going to be ok "....

What do you think will happen next? Will she remember what happen (Her trip Home or the accident)? What is holding her down, so she can't move?Tune in next week for a continuation ... of

Boarding the Boat ... Once Upon A Time

This is the 3rd instalment in the Once Upon a Time, a weekly series. 

To view previous instalments in this series click here.  

The thought of returning Home, filled the princess with a warmth that she could not describe. With each movement towards the waiting crowd, the thought of Home became stronger and all sorts of visions started to appear in her mind's eye. Don't be afraid, she could hear voice (in thought of course) but it was not that of the figure shrouded in white. Suddenly before her and the crowd she had now joined, was a beautiful vision. The memories of lives lived are becoming accessible. By the time you finish crossing over you will recall all you have learned in those lives.

As the awaiting crowd continued to grow in 1000s ... what resembled a boat appeared through the mist. Guided by 3 white doves. As they boarded and took their spots, it was as if they were being stacked like sardines. Packed in tightly, the sense of balance was as if they were packed in side ways. Once again the beautiful vision before them communicated in thought. 

You will be given insight as to the affect your choice to return Home will have on the souls that are continuing their earthly journeys and lessons. 

As the vessel moved along ... shades of white, blue and a faint golden began to fill the space around them. 

Some of these souls you will recognize and others you may not (as you have not yet crossed paths on earth)  ... but you will see how your choice will affect them. When you chose Home , you did not know all of this ... so again you are free to choose.

The space around the princess was suddenly golden and she was surrounded by souls who having taken Angelic form would accompany their charge back to earth and care for her soul until it once again was reunited with the human body it had come from. The princess remained in a deep sleep and was not aware she was no longer on her way Home, but back to an earthly journey.

What do you think will happen next? Why was she going back to earth? Tune in next week for a continuation ... of

Helping Others a Temporary Escape ~Part of Picking Up the Pieces Mondays

Helping provides a distraction. Focusing on others takes us away, at least temporarily, from the hassles of work, finances, or family troubles. Helping can also block pain because our attention is shifted from personal pain to helping others. Such was the case when I started to get to know the Man (from yesterday's [Sunday] post).

Many were concerned that I would become emotionally and physically drained. I on the other hand was happy to be able to do something other than just lay in bed or the couch between Medical appointments focusing on the life I no longer had; and if it was helping someone for me to listen – then I would listen. As we continued to speak on the phone and in person a friendship started to develop. We could relate to each other in ways that others could not – He had lost a part of himself; me it felt like I had lost so many parts of me, I wondered if anything could be salvaged. We were both at cross roads leading to a dead end.

As time passed and I grew a little stronger to start going out of my house, another reality started to set in – cars, groups of people, loud noises were now a real setback for me. This Man had a family country home and suggested that I consider joining him on his next trip. After little thought I agreed, so off we went. The next few weeks became a time of running away from both of our lives and the emotional and physical pain that we suffered in our own ways.

The time in the country, being surrounded by nature, with no reminders of the life I had lost, it must have been a form of therapy. In this setting I felt for the first time in almost a year a sense of peace within myself. What had started as a few days in the country turned into a road trip ~ You can imagine the concern my care team had. Looking back now I can see where they were coming from as this was interrupting my rehab sessions – But I also think that had I not taken the trip I may have very well entered a place where no one would have been able to reach me. Wanting to save this Man’s life took priority over ending mine.

What I want to share with others;

Sometimes prayers for healing are answered but not in a way that you had anticipated. Looking back now I see that my prayers of being able to see myself again - I was sent to cross paths with this Man – to see what he couldn’t see that he had a life to live (a mirror of what I thought I had not). In my wanting to help a fellow person – I saved not only him but myself as well.

No matter how awful your situation, know that you are still able to help someone who is in a much darker place then you. As the saying goes “when you think you have bad – all you need to do is look to your right or left and you will find someone in greater need”.

For family, care-givers and friends of someone going through a life changing event, provided your loved one is not putting themselves or others at risk or danger of any kind – left them stretch their wings. Belief and Faith are wonderful healers, if we only give them a chance.

So, you may be wondering what happen to this Man. Visit next Monday ~ As Picking up the pieces , changes to “Reaching a Dead End” series.

Rose Coloured Glasss - Picking Up the Pieces Mondays

Over the next couple of months I a whole new Home Care~Team was assembled – consisting of:

Image Credit

Case Manager; Occupational Therapist; Speech Therapist; Physio Therapist; Chiropractor; Massage Therapy; Osteopath Therapist; Psychologist; In-Home 24/7 Caregiving; Transportation Services; family doctor and the numerous Specialists I had to see at the hospital for ongoing follow up – neurology, fracture clinic, respiratory, ABI clinic etc. It felt like a revolving door had been placed on my front door.

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 I pushed myself with every ounce of energy my body had. The therapists applauded me on my efforts. I tried my best not to show how much I really required help and what little energy I now had. I would try to keep the pain from showing and I didn't want anyone to see how dependent I was on the caregivers or my weaknesses ; I would not eat around friends, family even if I was hungry- because then they would see how I struggled just to bring a spoon to my mouth. I was thankful that my need to use the facilities now seemed to be quite limited (I would later discover it was due to meds and sustained internal injuries) - so visiting people would not see that the caregiver had to assist me. despite all this I kept thinking I would be back to work within weeks and that all would return to “normal”. The reality however, was much darker than my “rose colored glasses" would allow me to see, and partially protected by my acquired brain injury.

As, weeks turned to months – and little progress was happening, panic, frustration (code for depression) started to set in. Friends who had seen me through the worst in the hospital, started to become distant now that I was home. My Case Manager explained to me that - “it was not uncommon for this to happen once people were home. Seeing how different a loved one is within " their own" environment, is difficult for family and friends to witness- so their natural instinct is to retract.She went on to say that in time some would return to be by my side - while others would no longer be part of my life.  

What I want to share with others;

While your loved one is in the hospital people (including familyl) do not see them as they were prior – they accept that the person is suffering. However, when your loved one goes home and is seen in their own natural environment – these same persons expect to see the “old” loved one – this goes for friends and family members. Know that your loved one will do everything to be that “old” person (as they too are in denial of change) – so it becomes very confusing as to whom they are. Frustration, depression, escalation in pain, confusion and the limitations of your loved ones ability – boil to the surface.

What your loved may not be aware is that going home may be a bitter sweet experience. For me - I thought going home meant regaining some of my freedom and return to my life. Of course those looking out for me knew otherwise. They knew I still had a long road to travel, with many loops, turns and the possibility of an additional detour or two, along the way.

Next Monday ~ Stranger in the mirror..

Rehab Hospital – Step 4 of 4 to going home - Part of Picking-Up the Pieces Mondays

The day that I had worked so hard for was finally just hours away, I was going to get out of this hospital! What I didn’t realize was that it wasn’t going to be a straight trip home. There would be a detour to a rehab hospital which would last a few weeks.


My first day at the Rehab hospital – was welcoming. I discovered that during the day I could wear my own clothes – and in the evening my own pjs. The nurses all seemed very helpful and I was in a semi-private room. This would be home until I was able to achieve: walking with a cane, go up and down stairs - But first I would need to learn to transfer out of bed into a wheel chair (on my own) – and back into bed; I would also have to learn to feed myself with my left hand; and gain some strength and become weight bearing on my right side. My actual stay would be dependent on successfully achieving the above goals.

After an Angel Friend (more on this in future posts), had me settled in my “new temporary” home, he went off to get me some food. In the meantime a nurse came in to get me washed up, she thought it would be best to have me sit on the bath bench, while she hosed me down, gave me a shower. The last I recalled was telling her I was feeling dizzy – then hearing her scream, as I found myself slumped over the side of the tub face planted on the floor blood spurting from somewhere, as the floor was covered in blood. As she approached, she kept saying “I just stepped out to get some towels to dry you”.. yes, in my dizzy state she had left me unattended.

Once I was back in bed, my Angel Friend arrived and the first thing he said was “look at the size of your nose! What happened?” As I filled him in on my first shower experience – the nurse came in and again apologized “I’m so sorry – for leaving her unattended- I just stepped out to get a towel.”

The next few weeks I was put through extensive physiotherapy, exercises geared to rehabilitate my movements and dexterity and cognitive testing. The food was not much better, here – the staff was friendlier and more helpful. Friends continued to bring me food – now from favourite restaurants, as I was able to eat and magazines that kept me entertained – I couldn’t focus to read but the pictures were entertaining. My hopes of being in my home for Christmas came and went, with New Year’s Eve approaching. So my most favourite celebrations, Birthday, Christmas and ringing in the New Year were spent in the hospital.

I was convinced that home would be a much better place for me, and practiced, practiced walking around my bed with a cane – every opportunity I had. Finally I was told that if I could transfer from the wheelchair to a car I would be a few steps closer to going home. I was excited by the news, but wasn’t sure what all would be involved in this transfer to car business. I was soon going to find out, that afternoon I was taken to the hospital parking lot in my wheelchair, and the instructor set out to demonstrate how I was to get into the car. As I watched him- back towards the passenger seat, sit down –so legs are down, facing the open door-, then slightly turn his back inward and rotate in the seat with legs together until he was in sitting position – back against the seat and legs safely in the car. I knew I would pass this first try … after all, anyone who has had to get in and out of low sports cars knows – this is the first thing a “well heeled lady” learns, so as to not put her panties on display or look like an Amazon getting in and out. The instructor was amazed at how “quickly” I caught on; I just smiled and asked “so do I get to go home now?”

What I want to share with others;

This is perhaps the toughest step for your loved one. They have now been in the hospital a few months and the “novelty” of visiting a friend in the hospital has worn off for most people, as they feel the person has made it through the worst of it. This however is the most important time for “caring” friends and family to really let the loved-one know they are not alone; they have not been forgotten.

Although your loved one is now able to speak for themselves – they are still not able to fully comprehend what their limits are – and that they can voice their opinions. Even if they are telling you so, or are telling the kitchen staff that broccoli has florets and that just the stems is unacceptable. I went through extensive painful rehab on my right elbow – despite the fact that it was “never” going to gain any movement. To this day, I often wonder how this fact slipped through the “physio” people at rehab. Yet, at the time I was not able to question their techniques.

Next Monday we start with being home!!!!

God’s plan, the Power of Prayer and a Miracle - Picking up the Pieces Mondays

I can’t imagine what my family and friends must have gone through for 6 weeks, as the doctor’s kept telling them to prepare for the worst. A sampling of the list of injuries my family and friends were given: closed head injury; C-2 fracture; ruptured diaphragm; lacerated liver; severely bruised heart; fractured sternum; multiple fractured ribs; multiple fractures in right forearm; shattered right elbow; crushed right pelvic; bruised kidneys; lacerations to small bowel; bleeding from every cavity – over 54 units of blood – nothing holding. After providing a list that resembled the size of a week’s grocery list.

The Doctors wanted to amputate my right arm, due to all the fractures. Thankfully my sister and brother did some research and jointly agreed “NO” to the amputation – I owe my right arm to their love, caring and due diligence.

The doctors did not hold much hope of survival, especially since as fast as blood was being pumped into me, it was coming out. My family gave permission for a Trial Drug used for Hemophiliacs, to be administered to me. I was given 3 units of this trial drug – and still the bleeding continued. I was not expected to make it to the next day. I was extremely fortunate to have been taken to Sunnybrook Hospital, their Trauma team is second to none in Canada.

Over the next 6 weeks – my family and friends were on an emotional roller coaster ride. Each day that I continued to live was a blessing, then their hopes would be dropped as throughout this time – my lungs collapsed; I went septic; pneumonia would be added to the list, etc. every couple of days their hope was shattered with something new.

My sister stayed by my bedside throughout these weeks, relieved a couple hours a day by supportive friends and on week-ends by her husband, our brother and parents (my family lives 3 plus hours away). In the waiting room she would see families whose loved ones with less injuries did not survive, others with worse injuries were being transferred from critical care to intensive care. In case you are wondering the difference between CC and IC is – “CC you are closer to the other side, IC you are closer to our side” as told to a friend when he asked a nurse.

I have been told prayers were being said for me throughout Europe, Africa, South and North America, Asia – the power of the internet, loving family and friends throughout the world, spread the need of prayer for me.

I was truly blessed to have some many people from different cultures, religions, backgrounds and beliefs coming together for my survival.

Each year the Sunnybrook trauma unit, treats more than 1,200 injured patients requiring immediate and often life-saving care. To learn more about the Trauma, Emergency & Critical Care units click here.

Joining Spiritual Sundays

images:  world prayer - google search; In God's hands - www.mitchie.com

Victim to Survivor - Picking Up the Pieces Mondays

The one thing that I have learned by watching people in waiting rooms at medical appointments (trust me I’ve seen plenty, more than I ever imagined existed or that I would be in), speaking with people who have gone through various detours in their lives (be it accident, abuse, job loss, etc.) and my own personal detour, is that we all go through a grieving process. Most professionals have told me there are 5 stages; Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Factors that may affect these stages are physical injuries, head injuries and the person’s outlook on life prior to the detour in life.

For me I seem to bounce back and forth through this maze of stages. When I have really bad days, as I sit on the floor, back against the wall – I wish that I could be given a set of gifts to open, and that opened in the right order I would end up at “acceptance” and know who "ME" is now.

Prior to my detour, I had a great and almost perfect life (if it was completely perfect it would have been boring); my career was going amazing – I worked for a fantastic company with an amazing team- was well respected in the industry by both co-workers and competitors; socially my life was very active – lots of friends, lots of functions and dinners to attend; loved entertaining friends at my home (I loved cooking and baking); I was Chair of Fundraising for a homeless youth shelter; I was very fit and loved travelling, shopping – shoes, clothes, handbags; had recently meant someone who I felt would challenge me to be the best I could be; most important to me I was INDEPENDENT. Then in a blink of an eye it was all gone!

Aside from the scars; lack of energy; out bursts (ok - perhaps some would call it tantrums); and when I’m really tired, stressed or anxious - my child like voice and mannerisms that appear – If you saw me you would think - I was OK. What you wouldn’t see is the amount of energy it takes for me to stay focused in a conversation, the preparation that goes into making it possible for me to go out on my own, the results of having attempted to do things – usually a few days in the house/bed and the extra pain that results -, the emotional disappointment/frustration/depression at not being able to do the things I use to do independently, without much thought.

I am still here and breathing, despite the doctors, for 6 weeks, telling my family the outcome did not look good, as I lay in a coma. So I guess I am a survivor – but will I ever be the me I adored, the me that felt so comfortable in her own skin, the me that was never afraid to speak up for herself or anyone that needed someone to stand by them, the me that was so independent, the me that could see anything through to the end - be it work project, social function - without tiring out?
 
Now that you know a little more about how I got here, I hope you visit each Monday for "Picking up the pieces" posts. I will do my best to share the past 3 ½ years and what has helped to keep me alive and moving forward. I hope to inspire you to stay positive and together we will get there. I encourage you to share your thoughts and what has worked for you - your comments may also help to inspire others.

images: google search - Jupiterimages and Shutterstock - wording added to gift boxes me.