From Heaven to Earth to Heaven and Back ...

If you would have told me 6 years ago that:

I would be scrap booking and blogging

I would be living in the countryside

I would be wearing flat shoes on a regular basis 

I would be a doting Doggie-mom to 3 furbabies

I would be in a relationship, let alone with someone who is a widow

I would be focusing on how I could help others with my time

I would be asking Angels and Spirit Guides for direction

I would be writing 

I would have responded...

" I think you have either had one drink too many, 

been out in the sun too long or gone mad? ... My career is my top priority, I have no time for any of that! ... And I may not be religious, but I do believe in God ~ there is no time for middle Angels or Guides, I speak straight to the top ".

Of course if you have been a regular reader of this blog, you already know God had other plans for me. So while I had been busy living and making plans for the grande lifestyle I wanted. And perhaps not remembering the purpose I had come to this place called earth, HE decided to give me a little time to think ... about why I was here and what I truly NEEDED.

This "time" HE gave me even included a trip (HE knows how I loved to travel) - this trip of course would be Home and would not involve a plane. Instead it would be HIS helping Angels that would lift me into the sky and along the way refresh my mind about what really is important to do with this time we are gifted with here on earth.

I have been told prayers were being said for me throughout Europe, Africa, South and North America, Asia – the power of the internet, loving family and friends throughout the world, spread the need of prayer for me.

I was truly blessed to have so many people from different cultures, religions, backgrounds and beliefs coming together for my survival.

I have been asked - "Why is that despite how hard some people pray their loved ones, they still return HOME while others survive?" The answer that comes to me is  ~ We pray for this person to survive. And they do survive (trust me on this).How they survive may not be the way we WANT, but the way they NEED to survive. We all survive this life we live here, some by staying longer to fully complete their purpose. While others having completed their work return Home (before us), to decide which lessons they will return to learn or teach next.

Silver Linings

Through time, compassion and love comes healing. From our darkest and hardest times we learn our most valued lessons and experience our most rapid growth. ~ as quoted by Artist Jane Crisp.

I have been blessed with the gift of returning HOME (YES, there really is a HOME we all come from - it is called various names, depending where in the world you were born/raised. Heaven is what I have been taught to call it ). And double blessed with the gift of remembering such a precious gift, though the how to carry out my purpose here, is buried deep within my sub-conscious - I know it's there and I am meant to find strength in this dark journey, so that I may help others find the strength to come out of their own dark journeys and go on to fulfill their purpose in this life-time.

Though we may be alone ... We are never truly alone, if we believe and have a little faith.

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about

And blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out eulogies,

For death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car,

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

She struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused

On where the back seat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

She did not hear them cry,

And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,

Oh, God, don't let them die!"

Then firemen came and cut her loose,

But when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys,

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

And was travelling alone,

But when they turned to question her,

They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication,

Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

Their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up, "They're in my car,

And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

And gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.

I've searched the area high and low,

But I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene,

I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said,

While wiping at a tear,

He could not flee the scene, you see,

For he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked,

Now, how can that be true?"

The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came

And left a kiss for you."

He told us not to worry

And that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with

The pretty, flashing light.

We wanted him to stay with us,

Because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

And told us not to fuss,

And he said to tell you, Mommy,

He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt.

That what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words,

I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain

The twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped

Without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed,

In print so very fine,

An angel walked the beat tonight

on Hwy. 109

- Unknown

Doctor's have told me that the soft tissue damage (no hair now grows in this spot) on the back of my head is consistent with a person whose skull fractures from impact against a hard surface, resulting in most cases - brain dead. They can't explain why my skull did not fracture - and say I'm a miracle to have come away with a brain injury.

I have a feeling my grandparents (both sets), whom I know are with me each day had something to do with it. A Miracle from God through their love and care from above.

Each year the Sunnybrook trauma unit, treats more than 1,200 injured patients requiring immediate and often life-saving care. To learn more about the Trauma, Emergency & Critical Care units click here.

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Spiritual Sundays

The Umbrella of Living ~ The Foundation

I have learned that without a good foundation it is difficult to build anything. The foundation needs to be rock solid, so that it can withstand all that be required of it to endure. Looking at my Umbrella components for living (you can read about the Umbrella - for Living here) I decided to start with Spiritual as my foundation.

I know that I’m still here because God believed in me! He believed that I was strong enough to come back to this human life; figure out where I go from this point. So, I have to have faith that he knows what he is doing and I have to find the strength to believe that I will discover who I am now and will be able to create a new improved me HHL 2.0 – (version 2.0 is what my friend Suburban Princess reminds me)



I’m not religious but I believe in God! So, the question becomes how do I strengthen my faith?


Here is my plan:


~ God is everywhere, so I know I can pray to him anywhere I am and I can also speak with him

~ Speak to God not only when I need something but Thank him for all he gives me daily

~ Listen to my Angels ~ they are always there ready to help , they are God's helpers

~ Look to our local Minister/Priest as a spiritual guide/counsel


~ Read books that enforce positive thinking (please share any reading you may have found helpful)


~ Remind myself of the many blessings I have in life ~ sometimes this is difficult to do when one is feeling very lost. SOLUTION ..... a Gratitude Journal will remind me, in my own writing.


~ Gratitude Journal ~ I have been on the fence about starting one, then it seems wherever I read someone is writing of how it helped them. Most recently, if you are a reader of Classy and Fabulous as I am, you will recall her post titled An Attitude of Gratitude. Something in her post spoke to me and I started mine today.

~Continue to surround myself with people who have faith, belief and are positive

I would love for you to share your thoughts and suggestions!

I Believe in Angels ~ Do You

Heavenly angels, often referred to as Guardian Angels, are mentioned numerous times in the Scriptures. We learn angels are spiritual beings created by God to serve him, and sent by Him to watch over us, to guard and protect us.

I thank God each and every day for the Angels on watch the night of my accident, for it was they who held my head. Later as I started theroad of recovery and my faith and belief would start to waiver; it was them who gently reminded me how precious life is and though my life was now going to be different, I was still alive and able to share His love with others.
Even in your darkest moments ~ Know that you are not alone

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Have Faith, Believe and don't give up ... no matter what!!

For though we may not understand at the moment , one day we will.

Do you believe in Angels?

The Healing Begins ~ Mondays...Part Three

After the “warm” (click here to read previous) welcome Mr. G’s cousins extended, during our trip to his farm, many questions danced through my head: Why is that they cannot accept Mr. G moving on with his life? Are they not happy that he is still alive? The most recurring question was, How can they treat their own flesh and blood, with so much disrespect after all he had suffered and lost? He was the one who had lost his spouse, yet these people made it all about themselves.

It was at times like these that I wished my head could focus and work like it use to. Of course I did not share the above thoughts and questions with Mr. G. , I tried to get him to forgive them for their hurtful words and actions and move forward to understanding that they must not be at peace with something within themselves. Yet, each time he tried to reach out to them and extend an olive branch, he would return more battered and bruised by their words. His hurt and heart heavier than each time before.

I felt so helpless in my ability to help Mr. G. he had helped me through so much, but my focus had to remain on my rehabilitation and I could not allow for any distractions. I was fortunate to have the love and support of my own family and friends, who made me, realize the situation with Mr. G’s family actually was not about me, but about him and the lack of respect his family had for him. Interestingly enough I would come to learn that this was something that Angel P had often voiced as a concern to Mr. G. at various times during their relationship and marriage, even weeks prior to her horrible accident.

In the months that followed things did not become any easier for Mr. G. His family, the people who were suppose to love him unconditionally, protect him, and support him, were instead isolating and pushing him away (they of course called their words, actions and behavior ~ LOVE for him). The love for his family made their actions and words that much more heart breaking for him. My heart went out to him not only because I loved and cared for him but also as a friend. I had never experienced nor witnessed such hatred in people, especially by someone’s own family.

The confirmation that God gives you what you need, was never more evident than in the love, support and understanding Angel P’s family gave (and continues to this day) Mr. G. It would be Angel P’s family who would keep him alive through the incomprehensible emotional abuse at the hands of his own family, who for some reason seemed to remain more concerned with what 3-4 cousins and strangers thought was right, than with Mr. G’s happiness and willingness to stay alive.

The year 2008 was coming to an end and with it so many endings and beginnings. I was adapting to my artificial elbow; Mr. G. with the love and support of Angel P’s family was starting to truly grow and come alive again; the renovations on the house, though not progressing as quickly as anticipated ,was slowly transforming it from a place of refuge, from so many painful hurts and memories in our respective lives,  to our home.

What I want to share with others ~

There are many uneducated (not scholastically ~ but about being human) people, who will try to negatively influence the opinions of others about you. They prey on the weak trying to keep them down. Stay strong, do not allow TOXIC PEOPLE to distract you from healing and fill you with hatered, instead wish them peace within themselves and their lives.

There is no book you can open that will give you the outcome of a specific situation. One thing is certain on this road of life we have many lessons to learn and without the various detours, pains, questions, and tests of faith we would not evolve into the souls we are meant to be.

 

Country Living ~ The Healing Begins…

When everywhere, everything and everyone that was familiar and provided you with comfort and safety ~ overnight becomes a stranger, including yourself - you feel like your life has reached a dead end. What you are not aware of [at least not yet] is that no door of happiness closes without a window of possibilities opening.

Continued from: Life at a Dead End ~

It was becoming clear that life as we had once known it; loved it; lived it in our respective lives was gone. Even our respective homes, which should have provided a safe haven for healing, were constant reminders of what we no longer had or could do. People we thought would be there through good and bad had retreated from our lives. For the Man ~ it was his family- who sat in judgment of him; for me it was friends who had always been there – who could not accept I was no longer the active person they knew. Somehow despite all that was painful in our respective lives ~ not wanting the other to give up also kept each of us from focusing on the pain that was crippling our desire to live.

We had managed to find refuge at the Man’s vacation home in the country, surrounded by the healing of nature, solitude and quietness. But as his family became more vocal about their feelings of him and how he was conducting his life (being friends with a woman and trying to help her heal from a tragic accident and in turn healing himself – before a year had passed since his deceased wife’s journey “Home” was a mortal sin in their eyes). Even this place that had become a refuge of healing was turning into an enemy [the vacation home was also owned by other members of his family].

Ok.. maybe it wasn't as bad as this, but going
through the renos, it feels like it! :)

So, on a whim we decided to become real estate partners and search for a retreat we could both live in as we healed. During this time, we looked at many beautiful estate homes ~ but as we know, HE does not give us what we want but what we need. It would be the house in need of repair that would capture our hearts and we would choose to call ours. This idea having been carry out on a whim posed some challenges that started to surface ~ I was still in much need of 24-hour care and trying to find someone who would travel to the country would prove to be next to impossible. Again … it’s not the want but the need that is fulfilled ~ since the Man would be around the house anyways, he figured along with the role of friend he would also provide the role of care-giver. And this is how our journey to Healing Began!

What I Want To Share With Others…

Sometimes it is difficult for those who have known us; loved us, supported us to accept/deal with what we are now going through. I think sometimes family and friends have a harder time accepting our changes then we realize. It is however; extremely important to remember this is their issue … you have enough to deal with without taking on their emotional baggage. When [and if] they come around to realizing it’s not about them ~ but you and your healing ~ do give them the opportunity to make things right. Sometimes these situations resolve themselves with little drama; other times it’s a full Horror Picture Show and yet other times damage to relationships is caused beyond repair.

For those who have loved ones going through healing of any sort ~ never forget they are the “victim” of circumstance not you. You continue on each day with your life, your, husband, your wife, your children etc. and though you may feel pain and hurt – this is not about you. Your role is to be supportive, encouraging. Unless the person is about to harm themselves or someone else – if you feel they are making mistakes – let them, it’s their mistakes to make. Your role is to be there to help pick up the pieces and again be supportive and encouraging.

An Answer from God ~ and his helping Angels

Winter had retreated , spring had come and gone and summer was now upon us, with its glorious warmth and burst of colour that only can be found in nature. Nine months had passed since that evening when in a blink of an eye my life had changed. My days were filled with medical appointments that left me with little energy afterwards. I recall thinking to myself , now what will my life will be like. It was becoming clear that I would not be returning to my corporate career anytime soon; nor would I be enjoying this summer on the beach in the latest bikini.

In the preceding months I had found that my faith had taken a leap forward – after all God had allowed me to see there really is a wonderful place waiting our arrival once our journey here is complete. My journey was not complete – so I chose to come back. But what was my purpose? Why had I chosen to come back?

Since being home my outings consisted of doctor, specialists and rehab appointments, I really had no desire to socialize and when I was dragged out by caring, loving friends – I found the people and the noise overwhelming. So when I woke up feeling edgier than normal – or what normal had become to me. I had this incredible need to get out of the house. My friend I came by and took me to the Beaches, for an hour or so. When she dropped me off I still had this need to not be in the house. I called many friends, but they were all busy. R was going to be using my backyard for a BBQ that evening – but I had no interest in attending. My friend F called back and said that she would wait to do her paper work tomorrow. She was concerned because I had shown no interest in getting out of the house, since I was home from hospital, so she wanted to make sure I got out. It was now July.

F picked me up around 9:00 p.m. – as we got into the car, she said I looked good and we would go to Yorkville (Rodeo Dr. of Toronto) for coffee. I objected I didn’t want to go there until I looked more like me, and my elbow was fixed. But she would not listen… off in the direction of Yorkville she drove. She made her way to Hazelton Ave. to park on the street. As we made our way, she wanted to check out Café Norvos , and she other places as we sent along before deciding where to go. So around the block we went, instead of cutting through the alley stores.

As we went along, I wasn’t paying much attention to people, hoping that I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. I didn’t want them to see me in this state. As, we walked I looked up and staring at me was this man, sitting at a small table in the middle of the sidewalk (in the summer you will find many gypsies set-up small tables on the street to do palm reading and card readings). His eyes locked with mine, I recall feeling confused, his eyes were familiar – yet I knew I did not know this person. As I walked past, he opened his mouth – and said “well, since you’re hear you might as well stay and listen” I found this very strange, who was this stranger speaking to me, yet he seemed so familiar. I finally found the words to say “ I don’t know you why would I want to listen?” by this time F who had taken a few steps forward noticed I wasn’t beside her and she looked back and returned to where I was. All of a sudden she is speaking to this other guy who I had not noticed before. I looked back at the man sitting, saw he was wearing a ring … and thought what a jerk. I wanted to leave, but F was talking with the other guy, so I did my best to occupy myself looking at passersby.

The woman must have finished with the guy sitting, because now, F and the other guy were saying it was my turn. After a little discussion and F saying she was treating I had no choice but to sit. When the woman finished, (she was so bang on about, my accident, life etc.) I was ready to escape, then out of the blue the woman said “ you should go for ice-cream,” as we looked at each other – someone suggested Leterri’s for coffee, as we turned around in the direction of the café, the woman, her table her chairs – were gone. Not only gone but there was no sign of her having been there at all, we walked to the café in silence.

As we sipped our coffee, I learned that the man had lost his wife 2 months earlier in a single car accident on the 400 and that I was the first woman that he had spoken to (other than friends or family members), since her passing. By this time I was getting really exhausted and wanted to leave, everyone agreed that it was late and we should be going. The other guy suggested that since the man and I had suffered such life altering events that it may help us both to keep in touch and speak with each other - before I could respond F was volunteering my phone number.

On the way home F explained to me that since the passing of his wife the man had basically been on suicide watch. Early that day the man had accompanied his friend to the cemetery (it was the anniversary of the passing of the guy’s mother). The guy told F. that he prayed to his Mother – to help the man move forward and not give up on life.

Over the next few months I would stay on the phone with the man for hours at a time{I was still pretty much house bound, so I had no where to go}  – listening to him as he tried to go into his house and make his way to his room. I listen mostly and tried to encourage him not to give-up on life. Sometimes his friend would drive him to my home and we sit outside in the backyard and talk for hours. He told me that the night after we meant that he went home and for the first time he was able to put the key in the door –went upstairs to his wife’s office and spoke to her picture most of the night.

When I spoke to my sister about this, she said that perhaps I had been given my answer – I needed to come back to save this man from taking his life.

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:2)

God’s plan, the Power of Prayer and a Miracle - Picking up the Pieces Mondays

I can’t imagine what my family and friends must have gone through for 6 weeks, as the doctor’s kept telling them to prepare for the worst. A sampling of the list of injuries my family and friends were given: closed head injury; C-2 fracture; ruptured diaphragm; lacerated liver; severely bruised heart; fractured sternum; multiple fractured ribs; multiple fractures in right forearm; shattered right elbow; crushed right pelvic; bruised kidneys; lacerations to small bowel; bleeding from every cavity – over 54 units of blood – nothing holding. After providing a list that resembled the size of a week’s grocery list.

The Doctors wanted to amputate my right arm, due to all the fractures. Thankfully my sister and brother did some research and jointly agreed “NO” to the amputation – I owe my right arm to their love, caring and due diligence.

The doctors did not hold much hope of survival, especially since as fast as blood was being pumped into me, it was coming out. My family gave permission for a Trial Drug used for Hemophiliacs, to be administered to me. I was given 3 units of this trial drug – and still the bleeding continued. I was not expected to make it to the next day. I was extremely fortunate to have been taken to Sunnybrook Hospital, their Trauma team is second to none in Canada.

Over the next 6 weeks – my family and friends were on an emotional roller coaster ride. Each day that I continued to live was a blessing, then their hopes would be dropped as throughout this time – my lungs collapsed; I went septic; pneumonia would be added to the list, etc. every couple of days their hope was shattered with something new.

My sister stayed by my bedside throughout these weeks, relieved a couple hours a day by supportive friends and on week-ends by her husband, our brother and parents (my family lives 3 plus hours away). In the waiting room she would see families whose loved ones with less injuries did not survive, others with worse injuries were being transferred from critical care to intensive care. In case you are wondering the difference between CC and IC is – “CC you are closer to the other side, IC you are closer to our side” as told to a friend when he asked a nurse.

I have been told prayers were being said for me throughout Europe, Africa, South and North America, Asia – the power of the internet, loving family and friends throughout the world, spread the need of prayer for me.

I was truly blessed to have some many people from different cultures, religions, backgrounds and beliefs coming together for my survival.

Each year the Sunnybrook trauma unit, treats more than 1,200 injured patients requiring immediate and often life-saving care. To learn more about the Trauma, Emergency & Critical Care units click here.

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images:  world prayer - google search; In God's hands - www.mitchie.com