Helping provides a distraction. Focusing on others takes us away, at least temporarily, from the hassles of work, finances, or family troubles. Helping can also block pain because our attention is shifted from personal pain to helping others. Such was the case when I started to get to know the Man (from yesterday's [Sunday] post).
Many were concerned that I would become emotionally and physically drained. I on the other hand was happy to be able to do something other than just lay in bed or the couch between Medical appointments focusing on the life I no longer had; and if it was helping someone for me to listen – then I would listen. As we continued to speak on the phone and in person a friendship started to develop. We could relate to each other in ways that others could not – He had lost a part of himself; me it felt like I had lost so many parts of me, I wondered if anything could be salvaged. We were both at cross roads leading to a dead end.
As time passed and I grew a little stronger to start going out of my house, another reality started to set in – cars, groups of people, loud noises were now a real setback for me. This Man had a family country home and suggested that I consider joining him on his next trip. After little thought I agreed, so off we went. The next few weeks became a time of running away from both of our lives and the emotional and physical pain that we suffered in our own ways.
The time in the country, being surrounded by nature, with no reminders of the life I had lost, it must have been a form of therapy. In this setting I felt for the first time in almost a year a sense of peace within myself. What had started as a few days in the country turned into a road trip ~ You can imagine the concern my care team had. Looking back now I can see where they were coming from as this was interrupting my rehab sessions – But I also think that had I not taken the trip I may have very well entered a place where no one would have been able to reach me. Wanting to save this Man’s life took priority over ending mine.
What I want to share with others;
Sometimes prayers for healing are answered but not in a way that you had anticipated. Looking back now I see that my prayers of being able to see myself again - I was sent to cross paths with this Man – to see what he couldn’t see that he had a life to live (a mirror of what I thought I had not). In my wanting to help a fellow person – I saved not only him but myself as well.
No matter how awful your situation, know that you are still able to help someone who is in a much darker place then you. As the saying goes “when you think you have bad – all you need to do is look to your right or left and you will find someone in greater need”.
For family, care-givers and friends of someone going through a life changing event, provided your loved one is not putting themselves or others at risk or danger of any kind – left them stretch their wings. Belief and Faith are wonderful healers, if we only give them a chance.
So, you may be wondering what happen to this Man. Visit next Monday ~ As Picking up the pieces , changes to “Reaching a Dead End” series.
