5 Years Later...what's that a bend in the road?

As the calendar flips over to October and the days start to creep towards the 28th, the years post accident have seen me slip back into a state of numbness that will continue it's roller coaster of emotions through to the next October 28th. A never ending cycle of ups and downs, with small glimmers of hope along the Detour, I've been travelling in my life for the past 4 years.

If you are a new reader of Falling Off A High Heeled Life you can read about my Detour Here.

This year something interesting has been happening ...almost like a feeling of spring cleaning! The month of October 2011 has been filled with anxiety and there continues to be some I just can't get out of bed days. But these come and go without the episodes, as I have named them (the terrifying emotional and mental break downs ~ to the point of not wanting to leave the house let alone continue to live), which keep me prisoner of the never ending cycle.

This year it's like I'm throwing open a window 

and trying to breathe.

Having not experienced this feeling in  previous years around this time (or any other time, for that matter), I turned to a close friend for her thoughts. What she shared was quite interesting, she pointed out that this October 28th, will mark the fifth anniversary of my accident. OK and.???...( I thought), she went on to tell me about a Diane Sawyer interview with some of the family members of victims from September 11th, 2001, she had seen.  

This interview was conducted at the fifth anniversary of September 11th. Diane said it was noticeable that the fifth anniversary had seem to bring change in the progress of the family members, when it came to their grief. They were finally showing signs of looking forward to a new future and it was clear they were entering a new phase.

Could I too be entering a new phase of dealing with my grief at the loss of parts of myself and life? Is there finally a bend in this road I've been on Detour, leading me down a new path? Is the discovery (creating) of the NEW me coming within reach? What ever it may be, I'm looking forward and that my friends is a definite change. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you who read my posts, and for all your sweet words of encouragement. When friends and family could not reach anything within me, and at times I was lost beyond words; it was the citizens of BlogLand who through their own inspiring posts, and stories made me realize, I needed to write, share my experiences and reach out to others. There is a purpose for me having survived, I just need to keep my mind open to new things.... 

Here's to the next 12 months, Bring it on!!

" Out of Clutter find Simplicity;

From Discord find Harmony;

In the middle of Difficulty lies Opportunity." ~ Albert Einstein

On Friday October 28th, 2011, I will be doing my First Guest Post! Thank you  Jessica, writer of the blog The Entertaining House, for inviting me. I hope you will stop by for a visit, discover Jessica's blog (if you haven't already) which is filled with great posts on Fashion , Living and what really matters at the end of it all! I will be sharing some things I have learned in these past few years on the journey to Who Will I Be Now.

 

A Parent's Worst Nightmare

Imagine letting your little one out to play freely, in a newly fenced in, secure area. She been out many times in this area over the past couple of weeks. She has enjoyed running freely, playing with her ball watching the birds and squirrels, enjoying the Autumn warmth. She has even been jumping in the leaf pile, scattering all the gathered leaves about.

Then one evening after dinner you let her out to have a few moments of fresh air before bedtime. She is happily running about. You go inside for a few moments, when you return ~ she doesn't respond to your calls. You make your way out into the yard, is she playing hide-n-seek? Then you feel that ping in your gut, at the realization that she is not there.

The whole household goes into search mode; you survey the fenced area for signs of where she may have wandered off from. But all is as it should be. No, fence bent or knocked down to give a clue which direction she may have wandered off in. You wonder could she have wandered off into the forest after a squirrel or something that caught her attention .. your mind drifting back to the still intact fence surrounding, meant to keep her safe.

Flash lights are shone in every direction , as you track through the darkness of the forest calling her name, trying to coax her to come out from a hiding spot with promise of treats. But the darkness of the forest remains quiet ... except for your calls and that of your spouse's as you frantically search the 13 plus acres. Perhaps she has wandered off down the road, you take to your vehicles, going slowly so you can look along the side of the road into neighbouring fields and properties; speeding up when you think something up the road looks like it could be her, only to come up to a stump or other thing. Part of you thankful that it wasn't her. But your heart continues to race and pump fast ... your worst nightmare is happening.

You call the local O.P.P. to inform of her missing; you give the property one final search before you retreat to the silence of your home. Sleep is not happening, any time you drift off you wake-up thinking that you have just heard her calls. Only to be disappointed when you open the door to silence and darkness. Your mind races... what you will do in the morning.

Morning comes, and there are no calls to wake you ... silence...as you set about making the morning coffee and tea; thinking what photo to use for the Missing posters.. the phone rings, your gut tightens, fearing the worst. You half contemplate letting it go to voice mail, for fear of the worst but the panic that has gripped you all night takes over and you brace yourself for the voice on other end of the phone.

 You breathe for the first time, a real breath! Your little girl has been at a neighbours home, safe from the cold and the creatures of the night. You can't bother to get proper clothes on; throwing coats over pajamas, you quickly drive over to be reunited with your little girl... to hold her and bring her home.

You thank your Angels for the kind and lovely people that took her in and cared for her, keeping her safe and nurtured. Of course, your little girl is looking up at you as if to say "what's all the fuss?" ...

Stella we are so happy that you are home safe and sound. We are forever grateful to Gail and her husband for not just looking the other way and reaching out to our little girl. Yes our little girl is a Furbaby, but she is our little girl and though she may have four legs, a bark and fur she is our child. Just Like our Dolce, who was so happy to see his sister...

Lots of licks and kisses...

A little of "Woof! Woof! What were you thinking? leaving like that?"

Time Passes ~ Once Upon A Time

This is the 5th instalment in the Once Upon a Time series. 

To view previous instalments in this series click here. 

As the princess slept time had continued to pass! 

She would soon realize she had been asleep for almost 

six weeks.... and had slept through her favourite season, Autumn.

Laying in the hospital bed , she felt as if heavy chains were holding her down, [The reality of course was that six weeks in a coma, not to mentioned the trauma her body had sustained; the life saving surgeries, the multiple fractures that had yet to heal , including a C2 fracture (part of the spine at the neck)~ were the cause.] ~

Something just felt odd, laying in this bed.~

 preventing her from getting up and returning to her beautiful bedroom with its comfortable bed.

The comfort of her bed would be the least of her challenges, the princess was about to find out.


" I want to go home"  the princess tried to say , but nothing came out ~ not a sound. She tried to raise her right arm to get someone's attention ~ but the pain that occurred just at the thought was unbearable. She tried her left arm... that raised for a moment only drop back down from its own weight. Helpless she laid there waiting for someone to notice her.

"How is our miracle patient doing today?" "Awake I see..." The voice was followed by a crowd  team of hospital people.

The Princess did all that she could, which was lay there, as they kept talking, and occasionally poking at her.. checking this and checking that. Though she couldn't turn her neck, she realized that she could follow them with her eyes. As her eyes followed the nurse that was coming towards her, it all became reality ... this was not a dream and she was hooked up to all sorts of machines. Including one that went into her throat... that she would later learn had kept her alive, after her lungs collapsed - and that this machine was breathing for her - that's why she was unable to speak.

Suddenly her thoughts were all jammed... like traffic, bottle necking getting onto  a highway with multiple on ramps...all trying to get through but being held back. This the princess would be told was due the the acquired brain injury she now had.  "acquired?? well I don't want it ... can we return it?" she thought, as her words were not coming out.

Until next time...

Getting my Joie de Vivre Back ~Part one

Trying to re-discover your passion for life or your creativity ~ 

to say it can be overwhelming, would

certainly be an understatement. Making it worse is often the chaotic, treadmill we find our every day lives on.

Perhaps ... we can learn a little from those who have mastered the Joie de Vivre .

Take time to think, and reflect on your thoughts...

Even a bird needs a quiet place to think.

Treat yourself to the small things in life that really bring a smile to your face.

Take inspiration from those who are passionate about their creativity.

AND are doing it!!

Look back in time to the those who came before us and followed their passion, their dreams...

Remember asking for a little guidance .... believing and having faith goes a very long way.

Find your inner child. Children are fearless, and adventurous... 

take a chance.

Even the tiniest of God's creatures ~ will teach us , nothing is impossible!

Put your heart and soul into it and you too can get out of the cage your in!

I have taken the past week ... to pause and observe, those who seem to have figured out the "secret" to Joie de Vivre  ... can you guess where I have been doing my research?

joining ...

Give Away Winner and First Recorded Handwritten Letter ~

From the beginning of time man has been trying to preserve traditions and memories. Thankfully we have come a long way from having to carve pictures and words into stone or using animal skins. With the discovery of using plant leaves and the bark of trees, writing and preserving traditions and memories became much easier.The libraries of Alexandria and Pergamum were made possible through the use of the Egyptian papyrus.

According to Hellanicus, an ancient historian, the first recorded hand written letter was around 500 BC by Persian Queen Atossa, daughter of  Cyrus The Great and his wife Cassandane. Queen Atossa lived between 550 BC to 475 BC.

Though technology has made it possible to connect with people across the globe with a key stroke, an instant message received on a computer screen cannot replace the warm feeling of receiving a handwritten letter; written just for you! A letter can be tucked away and pulled out, held and re-read any time.

Help keep the Art of letter writing alive ... write a letter of encouragement; congratulations; or just to let them know you are thinking of them, to a loved one today!

CONGRATULATIONS TO Sandi, writer, of 

Rose Chintz Cottage

Sandi will be receiving this beautiful assortment of items to help keep the Art of Letter Writing Alive, tuck in a Creativeco-op box, which may be used to store letter writing stationary or letters/cards received. Sandi please email me at fallingoffahighheeledlife@gmail.com  your mailing address and I will get your box out to you this week.

Thank you to everyone who participated in this give away, don't forget I do random give ~ aways, so if you are a follower of this blog you may just be a winner, so I hope you keep reading from time to time.

If you are looking for a fun way to keep up with your writing skills why not join BlogLand Pen Pal,

for more details click here!

GIVEAWAY !!! Don't miss it ...

repost~ from October 4th , 2011 Only a couple days left to enter...giveaway closes Oct.15, 2011

I think the quote below says it all ...

Handwritten letters are priceless treasures! Unfortunately this most beautiful art form is slowly making the endangered list of bygone simpler times. To help keep the ART of Letter Writing alive, one lucky  follower of Falling Off A High Heeled Life will win this Creativeco-op box, 

store your stationary or handwritten notes, cards, letters you receive.

Filled with these...

~ Betty Book, address book to keep the addresses of friends and loved ones

~ Pepper Pot Journal, to write your thoughts and practice your handwriting

~ La Petite Presse note card box set, to send special notes of thank you

~  Papaya Art Celebrate Art of Mail note card set, to write letters on beautiful paper

~ High Heeled Life note pad and pen, to make write quick notes

~ ATTEATUDE and Chocolate mug with a trio of Stash lemon ginger herbal tea, to remind you to take a few minutes to yourself each day

~ Rocherblanc European Milk Chocolate, to satisfy your sweet tooth

This giveaway is open Internationally to existing and new followers of Falling Off A High Heeled Life

 HOW DO I ENTER , you are saying! 

It's easy leave a comment saying you are an existing follower 

or new follower of this blog

Extra Entries

Please make sure you leave a 

separate comment for each extra entry 

(as random.org is used to pick winner)

~ Post about giveaway - leave a link to your post in comment

~ Spread the word of this Giveaway on Twitter

~ Sign up to be a BlogLand Pen Pal and leave a comment saying you are a NEW BlogLand Pen Pal

~ Already a BlogLand Pen Pal - leave a comment saying you are an Existing  BlogLand Pen Pal

~ Add the Giveaway image below with a link back to this post

Giveaway Ends OCTOBER 15th, 2011

(winner will be announced on this blog week of October 17th, 2011)

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!

To learn more about BlogLand Pen Pal Click here.

Change Your Shoes, Change Your Life

Everyone has been through a time in life, 

when they wake up one morning and 

life as they knew it is no longer.

 You smile on the outside ...

While on the inside...

You know the new you and life is out there, somewhere....

Then you realize change your shoes, change your life 

really is not just a cliché 

You're no longer wearing heels, but the rest of you 

just hasn't realized it!

Your body and mind still try desperately to

 function and think like you are wearing those heels.

As you continue to smile ~ so those around you don't 

see the darkness that surrounds you ...

You turn to your Angels and ask for help

We have been waiting for you to ask!!

they happily reply...

Before you know it you are making new dreams...

Everything starts with a Dream or two...

I'll be taking a little blogging break ... but will be back very soon...

To share my discovery...

Don't forget to enter my giveaway

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS AND TO ENTER

For those who are participating in BlogLand Pen Pal and have sent in your mailing address and details,

check emails tomorrow for your Pen Pal match.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends....