Life Direction Recalculating No Warning ... 5 Tips to Adjust to "This"

When you are driving along, and the GPS begins to say "Recalculating" it's often because you have taken a different path than originally mapped or perhaps an unexpected event(s) occurred ahead - and the GPS is directing you towards a more efficient route to reach your destination. The Universe is like GPS for life ... if we are straying from where we are suppose to be, events will occur that will help steer us back. Unfortunately these events may not always happen in the form of a joyous occasion, most often they are gut wrenching, WTF kinda of events.

Our first reaction, may be to want to stay on the path we know, even if we sense it could be chaos, overwhelming or dangerous to are well being (emotional, mental and/or physical health). A long time ago I recall someone saying to me ... "when something happens to us, it is good to wait at least 48 hours - this way you will be acting on what has happened instead of reacting. After all what happened will not change, but how you see it and respond to it may". I recently found myself practicing this advice, and I have to say my initial response and how I view a recent life changing event has changed drastically from my initial ego and fear driven thoughts. 

I'm not going to sugar coat it lovelies, it is not easy choosing to take action vs reacting, and in all honesty when my heart was pulled out and stomped on like it never in my 50 years had been; not allowing ego and fear to take over was like trying to give a bath to a cat -who hates water!  The days, and weeks that followed became filled with more questions than answers. "This" became one of those moments where I realized nothing would ever be the same. I think actively practicing regular self care and love has given me the wisdom and sound foundation to examine "this" with a clarity that may not have otherwise existed; and I also knew that I was not going to let "this" destroy me. 

  5 Tips to Adjust to "This":

1. Take TIME: When we are feeling betrayed or hurt, it is instinct to reach out to people who care about us - but in the next few hours, days - try to allow yourself time to process what has become your "new reality". While well intended, our friends and loved ones will go into protective mode of us - and we can easily take on their thoughts on the situation. Give yourself time to figure out how YOU really are feeling about the situation.

2. TALK to someone: If you are needing to talk - reach out to a psychologist, or other professional who can remain objective and help you through the initial processing of what has occurred. I am a firm believer that we should all have a psychologist on retainer and on speed dial.

3. Be SELECTIVE: When we are hurting, our need to feel loved, protected and connected can leave us vulnerable to blurting out our personal life to anyone who will listen. Seriously, the sales lady does not need to know your business. Limit your discussion to a handful of friends/loved ones - this is what our besties (see below) are for. 

4. KNOW your besties: While our besties have our back ... in the days following the avalanche of your life - you will have days when you need the bestie, who will snap you into reality - no sugar coating tough love; other days you need the one who will hold your hand and draw on her experiences to help you process; and yet other days the one who just listens without interruption, judgement or I told you so. Of course they will all be ready with bubbly, a cup of tea, chocolate and ice cream - because you have the best BESTIES!!

5. Allow yourself time to GRIEVE: No matter what "this" was whether it was for the best or whether it really doesn't make sense, it's important to grieve the loss of what once was your life. Ensure you take off the rose coloured & bitter glasses, reflect on the good, the bad, the ugly, and the WTFs. But don't linger too long .... accept what has happened and start looking forward.

Bonus Tip: 

FORGIVENESS - what has happened cannot be changed, life will never be the same, you will never be the same, BUT ... when you forgive (be it yourself or another) you release the hold the past has on you ... and when this happens, the magic of new beginnings emerge ... and oh what a beautiful life you have ahead of you!! ( you just may not know it or be able to see it yet).

Lovelies remember, when the life we ordered has been discontinued - look at it as an opportunity to recalculate and set a new course for you and your life.

original image : Google Images

Take care of you,


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Change is in the Air...

Change is something that forces us from our comfort zone.

Change may not always be something we  initiated, and often 
blind sides us. But we can can take back control - by finding the opportunity(ies) in change instead of letting it (change) take us down.

Change comes with its own built in grieving/adjustment period and the length of this period is as individual as we are. I have come to refer to this time as "Life in Transition". Life as we knew it or the person we were no longer fit - in the present; and the future is unknown.

Change makes us look deep within ourselves and find strength we did not know existed. With this strength guiding us we are able to do our personal best and than some. 




Until we are ready to move forward, it may feel that we have been defeated by change. But this feeling will pass and we will conquer change. For one thing is constant with change ... IT will always be there urging us towards our life's purpose. Often in ways that we could not have imagined. 

Change is won when during our "Life in Transition" period we find our self going from surviving to Thriving; the choice to move towards Thriving is ours.  

As the plantings of summer make way for the harvest of autumn, it is the perfect time to look at what changes have been planted in our life and start harvesting the opportunities instead of focusing on the weeds that may also have taken root!

For me post accident, I have found the opportunity of giving to others, by sharing my story and journey. 

What opportunities have you found within changes in your life, that at first you thought there could be no good in it?

5 Years Later...what's that a bend in the road?

As the calendar flips over to October and the days start to creep towards the 28th, the years post accident have seen me slip back into a state of numbness that will continue it's roller coaster of emotions through to the next October 28th. A never ending cycle of ups and downs, with small glimmers of hope along the Detour, I've been travelling in my life for the past 4 years.

If you are a new reader of Falling Off A High Heeled Life you can read about my Detour Here.

This year something interesting has been happening ...almost like a feeling of spring cleaning! The month of October 2011 has been filled with anxiety and there continues to be some I just can't get out of bed days. But these come and go without the episodes, as I have named them (the terrifying emotional and mental break downs ~ to the point of not wanting to leave the house let alone continue to live), which keep me prisoner of the never ending cycle.

This year it's like I'm throwing open a window 

and trying to breathe.

Having not experienced this feeling in  previous years around this time (or any other time, for that matter), I turned to a close friend for her thoughts. What she shared was quite interesting, she pointed out that this October 28th, will mark the fifth anniversary of my accident. OK and.???...( I thought), she went on to tell me about a Diane Sawyer interview with some of the family members of victims from September 11th, 2001, she had seen.  

This interview was conducted at the fifth anniversary of September 11th. Diane said it was noticeable that the fifth anniversary had seem to bring change in the progress of the family members, when it came to their grief. They were finally showing signs of looking forward to a new future and it was clear they were entering a new phase.

Could I too be entering a new phase of dealing with my grief at the loss of parts of myself and life? Is there finally a bend in this road I've been on Detour, leading me down a new path? Is the discovery (creating) of the NEW me coming within reach? What ever it may be, I'm looking forward and that my friends is a definite change. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you who read my posts, and for all your sweet words of encouragement. When friends and family could not reach anything within me, and at times I was lost beyond words; it was the citizens of BlogLand who through their own inspiring posts, and stories made me realize, I needed to write, share my experiences and reach out to others. There is a purpose for me having survived, I just need to keep my mind open to new things.... 

Here's to the next 12 months, Bring it on!!

" Out of Clutter find Simplicity;

From Discord find Harmony;

In the middle of Difficulty lies Opportunity." ~ Albert Einstein

On Friday October 28th, 2011, I will be doing my First Guest Post! Thank you  Jessica, writer of the blog The Entertaining House, for inviting me. I hope you will stop by for a visit, discover Jessica's blog (if you haven't already) which is filled with great posts on Fashion , Living and what really matters at the end of it all! I will be sharing some things I have learned in these past few years on the journey to Who Will I Be Now.