Some days when things just seem to be spinning out of control [which lately seems like more often] it appears that I’m looking in from somewhere out in the universe. I see the life I had, I can feel it, smell it and taste it; then it’s gone and I’m left floating in the Milky Way wondering what black hole holds the mystery door to a new life.
Will this new life be better? Will it be less than what I had? Will my circle of friends and family be there? How will people see me in this new life? What will drive me, be my passion? Will people always see me as the girl who once was and now the girl that was struck by a car? The variables to these questions play in my head like chess pieces. The right move - success; the wrong move and well you know. I wish the world would just stop long enough for me to get on, at that exact moment that everything changed.
Have you gotten back on the world? If so, how did you do it? If not, what strategies do you find have kept you moving forward?
Life in your present. Everyone has life changes experiences...life isnt better, it isnt worse, it's just different. Adapting to and accepting different is the key!
ReplyDeleteTo put it - if possible by any means - in a "nutshell": I got hit by a divorce, later then by death of my father, later then by diagnosis of a brain tumor. My life fell into pieces. I got a depression. I gained weight because I thought food is my friend. Slowly I found that life is still there and I nibbled small portions of normal life, like purchasing a lipstick. I was lucky as that tumor does not grow ( at the moment) so I took all my power which was left or hidden and went out to adjust to the threatening sword above me, but grab what I could get in means of LIFE.
ReplyDeleteI found a new love.
I adjusted to my body inspite of it's volume. I love myself again.
I love my loved one.
I will marry in June.
Que sera-sera ! Whatever will be, will be... the future's not ours to see...
The grass is much greener now, I try to find at least ONE wonderful moment each day. If I fall down dead tomorrow, I have loved today.
This is by far no "recipe" - it is just what happened to me and what I did , slowly, to overcome the fear and frustration and the fear and sadness...
Kind regards, Martina
Oh HHL ... my heart goes out to you. The spinning world is a great visual. For me, when I finally stopped trying to be in control, and worked harder to find joy in the moment - even if it was just the smell of a new book as I fanned its pages, the touch of a child's hand on my face, the sound of birds chirping ... I really did have to search at first, but soon I was able to find joy in every moment and it made all the difference. Good luck to you sweetie.
ReplyDeleteoxoxox
Denalee
dear high-heeled,
ReplyDeletemy prayers for you are that, once you stop
spinning, you will have found a place filled
with love, peace, and joy.
you're in that horrible liminal place now, not
what you were . . .not what you will be.
in some ways we are there our whole lives,
but yours is much tougher because of the
accident.
i am believing for you to begin to see hope
for a rich, full life, somewhere, somehow,
some day. (yes, "westside" story-i'm such
a dork!)
love,
lea
Through the many ups and downs my life has taken, I have learned to just take one day at a time and open my eyes to the beauty around me. Don't look back at what has been because it makes it harder to accept what is now. Let go and love who you are now. The people who truly love you, love you for who you are on the inside and will continue to love you no matter what physical changes have occurred. Those who don't are not people you should want in your life. Surround yourself with positive minded people.
ReplyDeleteThis is what has and continues to work for me. I am not saying I do not occasionally have down days because that would be a lie, but I do shake it off and move on.
Warmest regards,
Tracy
Heres hoping that things settle down for you soon, just go with the flow at the moment. x
ReplyDelete