After much discussion – mainly me pleading my case for my fashion choice du jour, we entered my closet. There, all hung nicely on pant hangers, by colour were my old friends – as my friend pull out each pair she would say “so let me introduce you to Mr. Dolce and Gabbana, Mr. Cavalli, Mr. Versace etc. – I know you recall them, they have been feeling neglected and would like to be part of your life again … what do you say?” I wasn’t feeling particularly sentimental until she pulled out my Achilles heel – my first pair of Dolce and Gabbana jeans - I recalled how great I felt the first time I put them on, I knew instantly that they were coming home with me. Blue (a cross between Indigo and dark blue) with a slight soft golden paisley pattern, slim legged with a slight boot flare bottom and a great fit on the behind… ah the compliments I received! She knew the history I had with these jeans, so it wasn’t hard to convince me to give them a go. As she helped me put both legs in and pull them up, I have to admit a smile was starting on my face …. As quickly as it appeared it quickly vanished. ..What was happening? The button and the button hole were not meeting! Panic set it in … who had shrunk my favourite jeans?
Desperate to prove I could still fit into my other clothes we went through outfit after outfit I was regularly wearing just prior to my “detour in life”, it quickly became apparent I was no longer a size 2/3. A trip to the stores would cement things further; I was now a size 6 /8. Seeing how frustrated I was, my friend suggested that we set a date to go through my closet and remove all clothes that no longer fit me or were no longer practical – she couldn’t see me wearing an Armani suit to physio or doctor appointments. Her theory was to remove clothes that reminded me of what I was no longer able to wear and replace them with clothes that were both practical and fit properly.
I knew she was right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say good-bye. It seemed “good-bye” is all I have been saying to everything that collectively made up ME. I did manage a couple weeks later with her help to sort through clothes – donated some to charity, gave some to friends, and discarded others. The Dolce jeans I held onto, I wasn’t ready to say good-bye.
Looking back the irony, I went down 20-25lbs when I was in the hospital. I looked both malnourished and as if a wind should blow by it would surely take me in its breathe. It took eight months and many cans of Boost and eating to get back to my normal pre-accident weight of 112 lbs. Now in the last couple of years I have gained 15-20 lbs more than my normal weight. I'd like to say that I don't see myself as "fat" - but I'm just not comfortable at this weight and without having been able to exercise properly, has made the extra pounds look even more.
Starting spring 2010, I am hoping to be able to return to some modified cardio work-outs and yoga. As I continue posting, I will keep you updated on my exercise goal - of returning to my normal weight of 112-115 lbs. by the end of the year - 10 month plan. If you are embarking on a fitness goal, I would love to hear from you - and what you find has worked. We can keep each other motivated.
I’m happy to say that I few weeks ago, I was able to part with the Dolce jeans. They are now owned by someone I know appreciated receiving them and will take good care of them. They are her first Dolce and Gabbana jeans, and I know they will be as comforting to her as they were for me.