Change is inevitable, whether you realize it or not everything in life involves change. But, change is not always easy to transition through - even when we initiate change, the unknown of how the change will impact us can leave a very unsettling feeling. And when change in our life is not of our choosing, especially when it's unexpected can send us onto a roller coaster of emotions such as: shock, denial, guilt (you could have done, been more), blame (someone else caused this), and eventually you will think with a clarity you didn't think possible, and accept what has happened. Once you accept the change - you will be able to start moving towards creating a new life.
5 Tips to help you Accept Change:
1. FEEL the emotions and carry on: Too often we don't allow our emotions to be felt - we've all read and possibly shared phrases such as "put your big girl pants on" or "suck it up butter cup"or "build a bridge and get over it", you get the idea. By suppressing our emotions we are setting ourselves up to keep holding on to whatever has occurred.
You will go through a series of emotions (fear, anger, joy, relief, grief,sadness etc.) - there is no "magic" order in which you will experience these emotions or if you experience one, a few or all; the length of time each will last; nor the repeat of these until you accept what has occurred (this is isn't to say even when you have reached the AH HA moment of acceptance that some of these emotions may not creep up from time to time). But having allowed yourself to experience them in the raw - will make it much easier to acknowledge should they creep up again, and not let them take over your life.
2. ASK yourself the question WHY - you are feeling so depleted by the change: is it that you are letting ego get in the way? is that losing a loved one - makes you realize your own immortality? after a break-up is that you are feeling lost, alone, betrayed, unsupported? When we are able to identify why we are feeling a certain way - it helps us to put the situation into perspective, which then enables us to put action steps in place to help us through the healing process.
3. Be THANKFUL for all the amazing people and things you have in your life. Take a look through your gratitude journal if you need a little reminder. Don't have a gratitude journal - perfect time to start one. Start writing down at least 3 things that happened in your day that you are grateful for - could be as basic as food to eat, a roof over your head, conversation with a dear friend or a stranger that smiled. Make a point each evening or morning to add to your gratitude journal.
4. LOOK for the silver lining, sometimes you may have to really look but, I promise you there is always one! Loss of job, could lead to a better career or opportunity to go back to school to study a subject you have always wanted; loss of a loved one, appreciate the family members you still have; the end of a relationship, frees you to explore other parts of you which you may have forgotten about or not realized existed.
5. BREATHE ... whatever the change, know that as long as you are breathing you have an opportunity to create an amazing life. It will be different - but know "The Best Is Yet To Come"!
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Dearest Celia,
ReplyDeleteYes, digesting first the raw emotion is helpful and it makes us focus clear and it also is calming.
Life is never easy, for nobody - sooner or later!
Look at the devastation in our state of Texas, all of a sudden and first time ever... So many lives, plans and memories have been affected and even lost.
No we have to step up in being resilient in bearing the raw emotions with more strength and confidence.
We will be there, after the initial period of grief and pain and we will be stronger too!
Sending you hugs,
Mariette
Thank you my friend! for your kind and supportive words. <3
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DeleteReally good tips here - I am so awful at dealing with change.
ReplyDeletehttps://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.co.uk
Be gentle on yourself Elizabeth ... try using the affirmation : I embrace change in a positive and healthy manner ... good luck... <3
DeleteGreat post Celia. I am a work in progress but I am much better than I was at adapting to change. Sometimes it takes time for the dust to settle before you see the beauty of what has happened x
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, we are a contentious "work in progress" with each change we discover a new facet of ourselves. Sending you big hugs across the miles .. <3
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