Accepting Change - 5 Tips to help you get there

Change is inevitable, whether you realize it or not everything in life involves change. But, change is not always easy to transition through - even when we initiate change, the unknown of how the change will impact us can leave a very unsettling feeling. And when change in our life is not of our choosing, especially when it's unexpected can send us onto a roller coaster of emotions such as: shock, denial, guilt (you could have done, been more), blame (someone else caused this), and eventually you will think with a clarity you didn't think possible, and accept what has happened. Once you accept the change - you will be able to start moving towards creating a new life.

5 Tips to help you Accept Change:

1. FEEL the emotions and carry on: Too often we don't allow our emotions to be felt - we've all read and possibly shared phrases such as "put your big girl pants on" or "suck it up butter cup"or "build a bridge and get over it", you get the idea. By suppressing our emotions we are setting ourselves up to keep holding on to whatever has occurred. 

You will go through a series of emotions (fear, anger, joy, relief, grief,sadness etc.) - there is no "magic" order in which you will experience these emotions or if you experience one, a few or all; the length of time each will last; nor the repeat of these until you accept what has occurred (this is isn't to say even when you have reached the AH HA moment of acceptance that some of these emotions may not creep up from time to time). But having allowed yourself to experience them in the raw - will make it much easier to acknowledge should they creep up again, and not let them take over your life.

2. ASK yourself the question WHY - you are feeling so depleted by the change: is it that you are letting ego get in the way? is that losing a loved one - makes you realize your own immortality? after a break-up is that you are feeling lost, alone, betrayed, unsupported? When we are able to identify why we are feeling a certain way - it helps us to put the situation into perspective, which then enables us to put action steps in place to help us through the healing process.

3. Be THANKFUL for all the amazing people and things you have in your life. Take a look through your gratitude journal if you need a little reminder. Don't have a gratitude journal - perfect time to start one. Start writing down at least 3 things that happened in your day that you are grateful for - could be as basic as food to eat, a roof over your head, conversation with a dear friend or a stranger that smiled. Make a point each evening or morning to add to your gratitude journal.

4. LOOK for the silver lining, sometimes you may have to really look but, I promise you there is always one! Loss of job, could lead to a better career or opportunity to go back to school to study a subject you have always wanted; loss of a loved one, appreciate the family members you still have; the end of a relationship, frees you to explore other parts of you which you may have forgotten about or not realized existed.

5. BREATHE ... whatever the change, know that as long as you are breathing you have an opportunity to create an amazing life. It will be different - but know "The Best Is Yet To Come"!

Take care of you!


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Light Cafe on Baldwin

Whether you are looking to satisfy your appetite, sweet tooth or looking for a hot/cold beverage Light Cafe is serving up a great selection of gourmet café food and drinks with a contemporary twist. Super friendly and welcoming staff. A great up beat vibe, lots of natural light filters in from the floor to ceiling window ... and the live plant wall really is a wonderful touch of green - it's like being outside indoors.

The Lobster Bisque is scrumptious!!

I fell in love with this yummy treat! The strawberry mille feuille is a delectable melody of light flaky pastry, cream, fresh strawberries, a petite scoop of strawberry ice cream, and an infusion of strawberry puree. It really is a party for the senses!!

Feeling a little parched or looking for a place to enjoy a hot or cold beverage? Light Cafe has you covered with their extensive offering: espresso bar, slow drip hand brew coffee, infused loose leaf tea, au laits, and refreshing alternatives.

On a recent visit ... I took a little break from my writing day with leisure reading and a cup of Earl Grey Rose Au Lait!! ( lovelies if you enjoy an Au Lait, you must try this one, you will thank me!)

Light Cafe is located at : 23 Baldwin Street
Easily accessible via the St. Patrick TTC Station or the 505 Dundas street car McCaul stop.
See menu here or visit their website: LightCafe.ca
NOTE: this is a CASH only establishment

If you have experienced Light Cafe, would love for you to share your fav menu item in the comments. 



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Life Direction Recalculating No Warning ... 5 Tips to Adjust to "This"

When you are driving along, and the GPS begins to say "Recalculating" it's often because you have taken a different path than originally mapped or perhaps an unexpected event(s) occurred ahead - and the GPS is directing you towards a more efficient route to reach your destination. The Universe is like GPS for life ... if we are straying from where we are suppose to be, events will occur that will help steer us back. Unfortunately these events may not always happen in the form of a joyous occasion, most often they are gut wrenching, WTF kinda of events.

Our first reaction, may be to want to stay on the path we know, even if we sense it could be chaos, overwhelming or dangerous to are well being (emotional, mental and/or physical health). A long time ago I recall someone saying to me ... "when something happens to us, it is good to wait at least 48 hours - this way you will be acting on what has happened instead of reacting. After all what happened will not change, but how you see it and respond to it may". I recently found myself practicing this advice, and I have to say my initial response and how I view a recent life changing event has changed drastically from my initial ego and fear driven thoughts. 

I'm not going to sugar coat it lovelies, it is not easy choosing to take action vs reacting, and in all honesty when my heart was pulled out and stomped on like it never in my 50 years had been; not allowing ego and fear to take over was like trying to give a bath to a cat -who hates water!  The days, and weeks that followed became filled with more questions than answers. "This" became one of those moments where I realized nothing would ever be the same. I think actively practicing regular self care and love has given me the wisdom and sound foundation to examine "this" with a clarity that may not have otherwise existed; and I also knew that I was not going to let "this" destroy me. 

  5 Tips to Adjust to "This":

1. Take TIME: When we are feeling betrayed or hurt, it is instinct to reach out to people who care about us - but in the next few hours, days - try to allow yourself time to process what has become your "new reality". While well intended, our friends and loved ones will go into protective mode of us - and we can easily take on their thoughts on the situation. Give yourself time to figure out how YOU really are feeling about the situation.

2. TALK to someone: If you are needing to talk - reach out to a psychologist, or other professional who can remain objective and help you through the initial processing of what has occurred. I am a firm believer that we should all have a psychologist on retainer and on speed dial.

3. Be SELECTIVE: When we are hurting, our need to feel loved, protected and connected can leave us vulnerable to blurting out our personal life to anyone who will listen. Seriously, the sales lady does not need to know your business. Limit your discussion to a handful of friends/loved ones - this is what our besties (see below) are for. 

4. KNOW your besties: While our besties have our back ... in the days following the avalanche of your life - you will have days when you need the bestie, who will snap you into reality - no sugar coating tough love; other days you need the one who will hold your hand and draw on her experiences to help you process; and yet other days the one who just listens without interruption, judgement or I told you so. Of course they will all be ready with bubbly, a cup of tea, chocolate and ice cream - because you have the best BESTIES!!

5. Allow yourself time to GRIEVE: No matter what "this" was whether it was for the best or whether it really doesn't make sense, it's important to grieve the loss of what once was your life. Ensure you take off the rose coloured & bitter glasses, reflect on the good, the bad, the ugly, and the WTFs. But don't linger too long .... accept what has happened and start looking forward.

Bonus Tip: 

FORGIVENESS - what has happened cannot be changed, life will never be the same, you will never be the same, BUT ... when you forgive (be it yourself or another) you release the hold the past has on you ... and when this happens, the magic of new beginnings emerge ... and oh what a beautiful life you have ahead of you!! ( you just may not know it or be able to see it yet).

Lovelies remember, when the life we ordered has been discontinued - look at it as an opportunity to recalculate and set a new course for you and your life.

original image : Google Images

Take care of you,


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